tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67778952901550044802024-02-19T02:41:52.448+00:00Vegetablism- The idea that growing vegetables alone can sustain your life. (Whilst doing as little as humanely possible.) This blog may well contain swearing. For that, we can only apologise.5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-55080430443277981162013-06-09T10:13:00.000+01:002013-06-09T10:13:09.865+01:00Everything* in the Wrong Place - A guest post by the lovely @chantscottage<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Everything* in the Wrong Place</div>
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Exhibit A - this potato plant which emerged proudly and regally (if a bit leggily) from the small weird conical compost bin we got from the tip. </div>
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It had grown literally from a potato peeling and was tucking merrily in to the compost I had slaved over (ie forgotten about) all year. It had to be stopped before it scoffed the lot, (despite at that point being the ONLY potato growing in my garden, the 900 or so seed potatoes doing the potato equivalent of sticking their fingers in their ears and singing '<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf670orHKcA" target="_blank">I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts</a>' and refusing to be coaxed out of the mud i'whixt they were languishing not for rain nor sun nor even a promise of a <a href="http://foodlegend.tumblr.com/post/13461339675/nobbly-bobbly-fab-ice-lollies-were-all-well-and" target="_blank">Nobbly Bobbly</a> EACH. Honestly. Potatoes today. That'll teach me for planting Pink Fir Apples. Pink Fir Apples, I ask you. I s'pose they were expecting <a href="http://www.magnumicecream.com/products/almond-ice-cream-bar/" target="_blank">Almond Magnums</a>.) As it had teeny weeny little proto spuds dangling of its roots I thought I might as well replant it. It promptly fell over and died. Actually it was so gangly it never got up. But never mind, because all my other spuds are growing now. So yah boo sucks, rogue potato. That'll teach you to grow in my compost bin. Yeah. No <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viennetta" target="_blank">Viennetta</a> for YOU my friend. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Fascinatingly, the name ”Jerusalem” artichoke has nothing to do with the Middle eastern country but is a corruption of the French 'Gira Sol', which roughly translated means 'please stop growing now'</span></span></td></tr>
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Exhibits B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z, A1, B1, C2 oh you get the picture – last year my sister in law gave me a large brown paper bag containing several brown tubular objects. Far from being displeased with me and expressing it in the favoured method of La Osborne, she was in fact gifting me with (which is just a much, much more annoying way of saying 'giving') a load of Jerusalem artichokes. I ate some of them (I mean to say, I cooked them first obviously. I didn't just take them out of the bag and shove them in my gob like a horse with hands) and the rest I lovingly buried in what was then designated to be my perennial bed. After I decided against the asparagus (ie forgot to buy any in time) and had made up my mind to plant onions there instead I dug them up and moved them. I was rather afeard I had done for them. The poor confused babies, I thought. They probably won't survive. Well actually they did. And then they survived some more. They were blown down twice and still they survived. I dug them up eventually and ate them. And, er, still they survive. All over my SUPPOSED brassica bed. And the path. And the other path. Last night I found one growing through our bathroom floor, and a couple coming out of the taps. I came back downstairs to find one in the kitchen retuning the radio to 'Choke FM (which is the station some of them now run from the garden shed). They have possessed my children, who I can now control only by waving secateurs in their general direction and will eat nothing but well rotted horse manure (though they don't seem to notice if I chuck in the odd Gregg's vegetable pasty, funnily enough). S'alright though. I quite like Jerusalem artichokes. They look nice. They taste nice. And they seem to be the one thing you can almost guarantee will grow, regardless of anything else. So the moral of the story is if there has to be one is this: never chuck a rabbit into some brambles. Oh, no, sorry, I meant this: if you ever plant Jerusalem artichokes in your garden, you will never NOT have Jerusalem artichokes in your garden. This really makes them the most labour un-intensive vegetable I've come across, and therefore perfect for the self-confessed quite rubbish gardener. </div>
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*two things</div>
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You can (and should) follow @chantscottage on twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/chantscottage" target="_blank">here</a>, or like the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/ChantsCottage?fref=ts" target="_blank">Facebook</a> page.</div>
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5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-91516149720221766912013-03-27T19:20:00.000+00:002013-03-27T19:20:50.227+00:00PALLETISM (Making Crap With Pallets) - by @RustyRicker<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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If you’re anything like me then you’re trying to grow vegetables in a small space either in your garden, on your patio, or in a cold frame. etc. I also try to do things as cheaply as possible. a) because I’m married and my wife loves shiny things and b) I’m tight as fuck.<br />
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Also if you’re like me you love trying to grow said vegetables but don’t really know what you’re doing, or when you should be doing it. Winter for instance, what do you do in winter? I decided to grow garlic and onions because I had no clue what else to do and nothing else seems interested in growing over this time.<br />
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These took 30 mins to plant which left me looking for something else remotely veg related to do as winter seems to last for half the year now (it’s snowing again as I type).<br />
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I decided to upgrade my planters from the plastic shit I had to some nice wooden ones, these however cost 40 quid from the garden centre, who can get bent if they think I’m paying that sort of money. I only have a very small veg patch and planters are a must, plus I’d been getting grief that the plastic planters looked worn from the wife.<br />
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The answer was cluttering up my lean to, earlier in the year I had cause to make a canon (long story, involved me, a Frenchman and a pig's head) and subsequently had a pallet left over, plus my Dad thought boxes of screws counted as Christmas presents so I had a plentiful amount of those.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small; text-align: left;">Forget the canon, veg patch is in the background, see? Tiny.</span></td></tr>
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As a point of note I would build up to making a canon if I were you, maybe try after you’ve made the planting troughs? It took me ages to get the lawn to look like that, I’m looking out the window now at the state of the grass this winter and it’s fucked, pure and simple, the fat headed dog has ploughed my lawn and shat everywhere.<br />
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GET WOOD<br />
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Much fun can be had sourcing pallets, often the worse they look the better they are. Work has loads so I’m lucky, for those of you who have no clue where to find them just keep your eyes open! I guarantee <i>everywhere</i> you go from now on you will see pallets and develop a love affair with <a href="https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=skips&sugexp=chrome,mod%3D11&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=DOVOUdYC6pHsBsblgfAE&biw=1092&bih=468&sei=H-VOUfWxFsbG0QXFm4GgDw" target="_blank">skips</a> (they can often hold rich pickings within). A prime location is garden centres, a quiet word with a member of staff should provide you with a glorious wooden treat.<br />
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I digress, much swearing and only a little personal injury later I had broken the pallet down and now had planks of timber to build with. This did feel quite manly I won’t lie. Now I was going to leave it at this but I won’t. You need to be some sort of ninja to break a pallet down, but it does get easier with practise. I recommend a hammer and a crow bar, you’ll work the rest out.<br />
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My first attempt wasn’t the best, It took me about 3 hours as I basically made it up as I went along, had no design, a dodgy back and a very small space in which to build it. Eventually though I made the sucker shown below.<br />
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Now on reflection it looks a bit shit but it cost nothing to make except for time. I had some wood stain left over and painted the thing and it looked ok.</div>
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This inspired me to make more, this and the wife who then wanted all the plastic planters gone.</div>
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I couldn’t be arsed to look for more pallets so cheated slightly and spent £15 on wood from <a href="http://www.homebase.co.uk/" target="_blank">Homebase</a>, making sure it was pre-treated and not liable to rot.</div>
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I must admit the others turned out better than the first, but then that is often the way with these things.</div>
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Two months on and I’ve now even managed to build furniture that’s allowed in the house and everything, so I implore you not to spend money at <a href="http://www.homebase.co.uk/" target="_blank">Homebase</a> like my lazy self of two months ago. Expect some future posts on pallets and how to make useful shit out of them.<br />
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PALLETS ARE THE FUTURE.<br />
PALLETISM </div>
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You can follow <a href="https://twitter.com/Rusty_Ricker" target="_blank">@Rusty_Ricker</a> on Twitter</div>
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5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-78352915205857713952013-03-24T20:19:00.003+00:002013-03-24T20:19:20.798+00:00What to do with over-wintered chilli plants<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Now I know this doesn't seem right, but Vegetablists can occasionally offer some advice and expertise.<br />
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For many people chillis are considered annuals. You sow the seed in the spring and grow and crop the plant over the summer. Come the beginnings of winter and autumn the plant slows down, the leaves turn brown and fall off, and the plant dies in it's pot as the first frost arrives. It's all rather sad.<br />
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HOWEVER! ALL IS NOT LOST!<br />
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Should you decide to, you can happily over-winter your plants and get a head start come spring time! This is alot easier than you might think. You don't need any special equipment or expensive lighting system. All you need is a pair of secateurs and somewhere above freezing to store them.<br />
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The simplest method is to bring your plant indoors and chop off every branch and leaves until you're left with a stump and then water the stump every couple of weeks or so. The chillis not having any leaves will then go a bit dormant and do very little while you prepare for Christmas, celebrate Christmas and then regret Christmas. As the days slowly lengthen it will use the increasing daylight to slowly produce shoots and leaves, and with it's already existing rootball, it will be in a much stronger position to start growing again with gusto. In fact many chillis grow stronger the second year with more fruit with a bigger kick.<br />
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Or you can forget all this advice and do what I'm doing..<br />
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So here we have a 25cm pot with an over-wintered chilli in. This has lived in the spare room for the last 5 months and was chosen for this project due to it's perfect length and girth and the subtle curve towards the base. The Pete's Penis chilli has everything a girl (or boy) could wish for.<br />
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It also managed to still be alive after I forgot to tend and moisten it over the winter unlike the other eight. But that's another story.</div>
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As everyone knows, Bonsai is the art of growing tiny trees in pots. (or halfway down cliffs if you've seen Karate Kid III) It's quite time consuming and requires a bit of patience. In fact I've read it can take years! As a Vegetablist I can't be bothered with all that so this year we're doing bonsai with chillis. </div>
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Bonchi!</div>
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Obviously you will need a few things to do this. So here is a handy list.</div>
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One chilli plant</div>
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One bonsai pot</div>
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Two bits of mesh</div>
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Some wire</div>
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A handful of perlite</div>
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Baby-Bio</div>
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Uri Geller's dessert fork.</div>
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Remove your chilli plant from it's pot and gently tickle off all the soil from the roots. Use the fork like a brush and after a little time you'll have one bare root chilli plant, one fork and one huge pile of mud over the lounge carpet. Take my advice here folks. Buy a hoover.<br />
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Once you've cleaned up a bit, gently plonk you plant into it's new home.</div>
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As you can see, there's a lot more roots than there is pot. This is easily remedied. Without asking, take your lovely partner's nail scissors and cut around the edge of the pot taking away any excess roots. You will now find the plant fits in the pot.<br />
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Bonsai pots are a bit rubbish in that there are two bloody big holes in the bottom so all the mud falls out. Luckily my old mate <a href="https://twitter.com/richscrich" target="_blank">@Richscrich</a> (Bonsai Expert) gave me 2 bits of mesh and a bit of wire to cover the holes with. We're talking proper bonsai skillage here! He's even in a tree club don't you know! So yeah, mesh over holes, a handful of Perlite to retain some moisture. Plonk the trimmed chilli plant in, then cover with mud. It's worthwhile considering at this point how 'arty farty' you want your plant to look. I decided I wanted mine as 'arty farty' as possible. This mean't that I left some of the roots exposed and drank red wine instead of my usual can of beer.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtEjVjcv1927dOog0NCCGCaQwxQW2CRHYOA9QbDV8oMKGu4i5raOtGXX3KRyM0yRhDJTqe0dq6aX78zKWUwthDcv4aWeU3YKTnGqqYFeaWL2wXrghEi93Cp5XIA9DecGoEcyX-axVLb7Y/s1600/20130223_195917.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtEjVjcv1927dOog0NCCGCaQwxQW2CRHYOA9QbDV8oMKGu4i5raOtGXX3KRyM0yRhDJTqe0dq6aX78zKWUwthDcv4aWeU3YKTnGqqYFeaWL2wXrghEi93Cp5XIA9DecGoEcyX-axVLb7Y/s320/20130223_195917.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Arty - Farty</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs0KOrBNaXrT32byhMr3ZyEalr2RrgTatcXiLFBmk3UyFyLOQOaNc7HStffjSqf2l8-oA3J78EFhyphenhyphend8p5RmC-CAue0rWhymamSVBEzARHtYa1RjFQNGwWq6Qxy-TfBuyl7tblbXnmGu0k/s1600/20130223_195928.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs0KOrBNaXrT32byhMr3ZyEalr2RrgTatcXiLFBmk3UyFyLOQOaNc7HStffjSqf2l8-oA3J78EFhyphenhyphend8p5RmC-CAue0rWhymamSVBEzARHtYa1RjFQNGwWq6Qxy-TfBuyl7tblbXnmGu0k/s320/20130223_195928.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rootage</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Now obviously at this point, I looked at the plant and decided it still wasn't 'arty-farty' enough and went outside and raided the patio plants for some more ostentatiousness. This was going to look AWEZOME. Rocks, and stuff, maybe even some moss. Who knew the potential?<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidiFgrRTzWKx-tDRR-GbWOgr6R1mFWRi2TBuL8nLfe0L5FERH6K9V4FSPVwELHU45c761LYg9NbMvPAtmVBVQr-tCx4hYAI03POoeVtrJNr95k4JPRvPoof24wUp8Yx_ZX3rFljGFYSMs/s1600/20130224_091033.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidiFgrRTzWKx-tDRR-GbWOgr6R1mFWRi2TBuL8nLfe0L5FERH6K9V4FSPVwELHU45c761LYg9NbMvPAtmVBVQr-tCx4hYAI03POoeVtrJNr95k4JPRvPoof24wUp8Yx_ZX3rFljGFYSMs/s320/20130224_091033.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption">A Bonchi was born.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
The important part at this stage of the project is to be quite careful with how you treat the bonchi from now on. I decided to feed it some Baby-Bio at regular intervals and give it the best spot on the windowsill for light and warmth from our local star. Three weeks later and the Bonchi looks like this..</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRksGEbNL5pkUh2-q-GWNTXEEiIoKsg6hkpkFrAROqn8PSP614JhHUkC_2mtplvgg6h1UORRclhho382FywyAmJEadagZWkoQAKlR0MQQc5a7rzCbt8pVQ0Nw-d3sRgB8xWhlSzrRvIIs/s1600/IMG_20130322_091744.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRksGEbNL5pkUh2-q-GWNTXEEiIoKsg6hkpkFrAROqn8PSP614JhHUkC_2mtplvgg6h1UORRclhho382FywyAmJEadagZWkoQAKlR0MQQc5a7rzCbt8pVQ0Nw-d3sRgB8xWhlSzrRvIIs/s320/IMG_20130322_091744.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ickle shoots (and possibly a bit of mould)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
How awesome is this? Answers on a postcard. (Or blog)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
If you're wondering where we've been, then you're obviously not following our <a href="http://www.facebook.com/Vegetablism" target="_blank">Facebook</a> page. It's full of pictures, links and ideas that don't quite make it here. Have a look. Some people even think it's better.</div>
<div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-30477942328137755492013-03-22T08:47:00.005+00:002013-03-24T18:07:26.582+00:00Return Of The Muck<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Do you see what I did there? Shit, now I have an earworm....<br />
<br />
Last year when we took over Plot 32/2 we thought the ground was a bit tired and needed some muck.<br />
<br />
We could go to Homebase and buy<a href="http://www.homebase.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?langId=110&storeId=10151&partNumber=676408" target="_blank"> manure in bags</a>, after all it's only down the road, but we thought that £6.99 a bag was a bit expensive for what is essentially poo, and after<a href="http://www.vegetablism.com/2012/04/dear-homebase-you-greedy-bastards.html" target="_blank"> Rootgate</a>, (even though handsomely compensated in the form of a gift card) we weren't sure if we could trust them again.<br />
<br />
After a bit of internet research we came across <a href="http://puckamuck.co.uk/index.php" target="_blank">Puckamuck</a> looking at the <a href="http://puckamuck.co.uk/product.php" target="_blank">product page</a> and <a href="http://puckamuck.co.uk/order.php" target="_blank">price page</a> it soon became clear that we were going to go big and get a truck of muck delivered for about £120. The Homebase equivalent volume would be about £600, that's £600!! The thieving bastards and even if you factor in £34 for a visit to the <a href="http://www.chiropractorsbrighton.co.uk/" target="_blank">chiropractor</a> after shifting it all, it's still a bargain. <br />
<br />
The Puckamuck site says that a transit load would be about 50 barrow loads, it was more like 60. it took 3 of us over an hour to shift it onto the plot over the fence onto the rhubarb.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mudrock/6598933791/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank" title="Pile of shit by Mudrock, on Flickr"><img alt="Pile of shit" height="299" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7153/6598933791_d43174bc78.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mucky Truck 2011</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
This year I dropped George an email saying how pleased we were with his muck and could he supply some more and maybe a bit of discount if we gave him a mention on here. Nothing ventured and all that..<br />
<br />
I told George about the <a href="http://www.vegetablism.com/2012/07/fuck-offenham-reveal.html" target="_blank">monster Offenham cabbage</a> and another truck of muck delivery was arranged for a Friday afternoon.<br />
<br />
Friday's are normally a good time to be at the allotment, one of us is working a 4 day week to use up remaining holiday, while the other can flexibly have the afternoon off. A bit of digging, then Pub is how Fridays should be.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately the Friday arranged for delivery turns out to be a bad choice. Someone is actually working on his normal day off, but may be able to get away early....<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV7QXPe17SVIJbEZ4Y9p8nzd8xKJbjiqkMNir_iGaYjI40cIqsmeOcuUtVtkNznnJ3yoQ1EVRZ-XCa5hLqQX59xaYB1grfRWqjSRYa-II8GiPbuHnR8ExpTKMOobc9EkL3bdlhex1LM9YS/s1600/IMG_4201%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV7QXPe17SVIJbEZ4Y9p8nzd8xKJbjiqkMNir_iGaYjI40cIqsmeOcuUtVtkNznnJ3yoQ1EVRZ-XCa5hLqQX59xaYB1grfRWqjSRYa-II8GiPbuHnR8ExpTKMOobc9EkL3bdlhex1LM9YS/s320/IMG_4201%5B1%5D.JPG" title="Puckamuck" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Muck me!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
At 2pm as arranged, a tonne or so of <a href="http://puckamuck.co.uk/index.php" target="_blank">Puckamuck</a> arrives.<br />
<br />
Just as much as last year, if not a bit more. George sings it's praises, I don't need telling, this stuff is great and full of lovely little worms. <br />
<br />
I text <a href="https://twitter.com/5olly" target="_blank">@5olly</a> 'It's here'. He replies 'I'm still at work, I'm being as quick as I can'<br />
<br />
The truck is long wheel based and couldn't get the angle to turn in the haulageway and dump it on the plot, so I make a start getting it over onto where the 'over wintered' green manure is still growing. I start digging. <br />
<br />
An hour or so in and I've run out water and diet coke. I have to stop every few spades as it's still winter and I am not 'allotment fit' yet. I'm slowly beginning to realise that I am going to have to shift this bloody lot on my own...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8MY4AAM6P7ZLNkIGYD0m1iFlXDkOKrP2qA4xI86LeEt7oeX75Wg62tnHjwseuBl62nR9PS52Xbxh8V3Zc8DSHzgynz38xoUpjEyF0Ai4r-IOxtMenj2L7fmYcuJ7v26hv2DEwHFUlzgOu/s1600/IMG_4202%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8MY4AAM6P7ZLNkIGYD0m1iFlXDkOKrP2qA4xI86LeEt7oeX75Wg62tnHjwseuBl62nR9PS52Xbxh8V3Zc8DSHzgynz38xoUpjEyF0Ai4r-IOxtMenj2L7fmYcuJ7v26hv2DEwHFUlzgOu/s320/IMG_4202%5B1%5D.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mucked!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
It took about 2 1/2 hours on my own. Then off to the Pub where on <a href="https://twitter.com/spitaldyke" target="_blank">@spitaldyke</a>'s advice I consumed 3 pints of beer in quick succession. Just in time for 5olly to arrive.<br />
<br />
<br />
That should do us for while. It's the good shit.<br />
<br />
Read all about the forgotten fertilizer <a href="http://www.vegetablism.com/p/fertilizer.html" target="_blank">here </a><br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkHvdDJSD3CiidI3OKR2sdycdXJLMn05n16qd-n-6nN91wCZXaZURyay8UzouXC-T06T8qqi0lwKjFM9eUJ2Z2ebU4kow9-Azk_21qj1mVNliorGF_fvAShAlM16JmjQMMbzgw5FFoOArX/s1600/puckamuck_logo_web.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="http://www.puckamuck.co.uk" border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkHvdDJSD3CiidI3OKR2sdycdXJLMn05n16qd-n-6nN91wCZXaZURyay8UzouXC-T06T8qqi0lwKjFM9eUJ2Z2ebU4kow9-Azk_21qj1mVNliorGF_fvAShAlM16JmjQMMbzgw5FFoOArX/s400/puckamuck_logo_web.png" title="Puckamuck" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Puckamuck - Sponsors of Vegetablism. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733699033424793236noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-28837993928284979722013-02-24T21:18:00.000+00:002013-03-24T18:08:02.152+00:00Red cabbage harvest<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
There's nothing like harvesting a vegetable that you sowed in the spring the previous year, and then tended, weeded and cared for throughout the summer, autumn and winter.<br />
<br />
There's a satisfaction that difficult to write down, so for once we did a video.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/QhIWND7MCTc?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br /></div>
5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-37720216487376044692013-02-20T12:51:00.000+00:002013-02-20T12:51:48.451+00:00Vegetablism vs #SpudOff (part two) by @iammudrock<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This could possibly be the first ever part two we have completed...<br />
<br />
Yesterday in the pub we arranged to meet at 8am this morning and make the planter for the Thirsty Gardeners #<a href="http://www.twothirstygardeners.co.uk/2013/01/great-british-spud-off-2013/" target="_blank">spudoff</a>.<br />
<br />
After much soul searching I have decided the original plan for the <a href="http://www.vegetablism.com/2013/02/vegetablism-vs-spudoff-part-one-by.html" target="_blank">BMX Spud Barrel</a> would be too time consuming to get done in time, so I thought I would have a go at <a href="https://twitter.com/5olly" target="_blank">@5olly</a>'s design. Much to his delight.<br />
<br />
At first I couldn't visualize it, so as is the Vegetablists way, <a href="http://www.microsoft.com/resources/documentation/windows/xp/all/proddocs/en-us/mspaint_overview.mspx?mfr=true" target="_blank">MS Paint</a> was deployed from the Run command.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX3cRPHRzZ0PqW_Mii74pieyV0W-9PVjxzZLq43gXZpWQ3zcl3M15oAQk2V0YohQlNpgGpLuVYAj4IN8npyWslWJU-0nsXXTCPDh2oaDd1kYxFy1Q9Z3l-9dABx65jYC2wF2rZjmPNhWLT/s1600/spud01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX3cRPHRzZ0PqW_Mii74pieyV0W-9PVjxzZLq43gXZpWQ3zcl3M15oAQk2V0YohQlNpgGpLuVYAj4IN8npyWslWJU-0nsXXTCPDh2oaDd1kYxFy1Q9Z3l-9dABx65jYC2wF2rZjmPNhWLT/s320/spud01.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Can you tell what it is?</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I have wood.<br />
<br />
My shed is full of wood I haven't used. We start with a wooden pallet and some 2 x 2".<br />
<br />
I thought this wouldn't take long, 5olly would be here soon and he can break the pallet up while I use the router to cut some grooves for the pallet wood to slot into. It'll be done in an hour.<br />
<br />
Two minutes in and I break the router.<br />
<br />
Another cup of tea. No sign of 5olly.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
So I used the ever faithful <a href="http://www.dewalt.co.uk/" target="_blank">Dewalt</a> circular saw set to a depth of about 5mm, and carefully cut 3 parallel lines, then chisel out the inside on two sides of each corner piece of wood.<br />
<br />
Repeat another 3 times. <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm_8xDr7HMnFwCVQ1X3NlWDOd_iWU-ITIHATGMDz9HrEBxkQHsFayjqWpTneT-v1kD_hMBwSCqs_ua3sVCrk3ACQkuyo6fUx3JtSq1RzH8UcWy1uhsni9ntf3MB6mlHV4nRRUugm_dUDGT/s1600/IMG_4179%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm_8xDr7HMnFwCVQ1X3NlWDOd_iWU-ITIHATGMDz9HrEBxkQHsFayjqWpTneT-v1kD_hMBwSCqs_ua3sVCrk3ACQkuyo6fUx3JtSq1RzH8UcWy1uhsni9ntf3MB6mlHV4nRRUugm_dUDGT/s320/IMG_4179%5B1%5D.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Groovy</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Still no sign of 5olly<br />
<br />
I quickly realise that I need to look at which palettes I acquire. This one is nailed with 2" ring shanks and was proper tricky to take apart.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizTpCKreL9wdoLx2_Vs7vuxEPC9YmgoPsToZ-YpvolgRwf5TiGoj_IUMEed6bh5RWchzyFB7ZT4L7vpwpveed0RGVAOK30PKrPZXXZamdgeSIa2CxrL9vhdN_y_B4QbOikNTxgRaodtW1h/s1600/IMG_4178%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizTpCKreL9wdoLx2_Vs7vuxEPC9YmgoPsToZ-YpvolgRwf5TiGoj_IUMEed6bh5RWchzyFB7ZT4L7vpwpveed0RGVAOK30PKrPZXXZamdgeSIa2CxrL9vhdN_y_B4QbOikNTxgRaodtW1h/s320/IMG_4178%5B1%5D.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">splitter</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Perseverance pays. I managed to get 6 planks off.<br />
<br />
"Dad! there's someone at the door". Cries a small child.<br />
<br />
"Lazy bastard". I reply. "Twatmund is here."<br />
<br />
A day at the plot beckons. This can wait.<br />
<br />
Due to the planks being 90cm long, the ideal size for my potato planter will be 45cm square.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGT-MPMhxXjGU4fmZ_vszWaZVCBZHTjfIaHGaziwyuMKsZq4rggoutxgejhuSsqiuaUW6eD12nSrCM85PCB6t2lmhqKfQ3iab0Z0PapU0IaruQHWHvvzE1GMlENW6Y5v209KBJTh2GbbNz/s1600/IMG_4182%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGT-MPMhxXjGU4fmZ_vszWaZVCBZHTjfIaHGaziwyuMKsZq4rggoutxgejhuSsqiuaUW6eD12nSrCM85PCB6t2lmhqKfQ3iab0Z0PapU0IaruQHWHvvzE1GMlENW6Y5v209KBJTh2GbbNz/s320/IMG_4182%5B1%5D.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Palletism</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
I got bored and hungry by this point so the rest of the planks can be done another day.<br />
<br />
I'll put a base on it and another row of planks to start, then line it with <a href="http://reviews.homebase.co.uk/1494-en_gb/291622/reviews.htm" target="_blank">Not Mylex</a> weed barrier fabric.<br />
<br />
As the plants grow I'll add another row at a time, and cover with more soil.<br />
<br />
The future is bright... The future is Palletism.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733699033424793236noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-70302946766448290582013-02-06T19:26:00.001+00:002013-03-24T18:08:18.004+00:00Vegetablism vs #SpudOff (part one) by @iammudrock<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Not only content with doing the Vegetablism <a href="http://www.vegetablism.com/2012/12/vegetablisms-2013-chilli-seed-trial.html" target="_blank">Chilli Trial</a>, we also seem to have agreed to take part in the Two Thirsty Gardener's <a href="http://www.twothirstygardeners.co.uk/2013/01/great-british-spud-off-2013/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=great-british-spud-off-2013" target="_blank">2013 Spud Off</a>. Everyone uses the same variety of potato, in this case <a href="http://pinkfirapple.co.uk/" target="_blank">Pink Fir Apple</a> and we can all pop them anywhere they want.<br />
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In the interests of science, we've decided to put them in soil, and not up our bot bots.<br />
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I haven't grown potatoes in a container before, just in the ground at the allotment and to be honest, never really had much of a harvest.<br />
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Last year, being of Irish descent, we planted on St. Patricks day as is <a href="http://www.vegetablism.com/2012/03/st-patricks-day.html" target="_blank">tradition</a>, even though it was pissing down.<br />
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This year I got a handy leaflet in with the seed potatoes we bought, informing us not to plant in overly wet soil as it will rot the tubers before they get a chance to get going... So July then? Anyway I digress...<br />
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Back to the Great British Spud Off 2013.<br />
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Immediately I had the idea of a barrel to grow the spuds in, a wooden one would look cool, I haven't seen any lying around in skips lately but what I have seen is plenty of pallets, I fucking love a pallet, free wood that can be made into other stuff.<br />
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How do I make a pallet into a barrel?<br />
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I thought, slept on it, then it came to me. In and around my shed are bikes, eight I think in total including three BMXs. One of these is in a right state with a knackered bottom braket that I never have, nor will get round to fixing.<br />
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In time honoured Vegetablism artistic shiteness I give you The BMXSpudBarrel.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjr-wwkJdjL2py0sF3efpeHnBmqYkQFWQ7QMuOpKB4htEE0jxu07f3R-imZjcCbLnkEYIXxNgyPO3PkiIiBNK3cQz6OuhCtSh8Asji_A0kTsbwBYPSDOImAuAcw6414CL_-I0YDnXuDsW4/s1600/spudoff(1).bmp" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="375" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjr-wwkJdjL2py0sF3efpeHnBmqYkQFWQ7QMuOpKB4htEE0jxu07f3R-imZjcCbLnkEYIXxNgyPO3PkiIiBNK3cQz6OuhCtSh8Asji_A0kTsbwBYPSDOImAuAcw6414CL_-I0YDnXuDsW4/s400/spudoff(1).bmp" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">MSPaint effort to help people visualize.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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Obviously the planks will go all the way around and the inside will be lined with Mylex or some such draining black fabric stuff.<br />
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With the axle still connected to the bottom I can even rotate it daily so all the plants get a bit of sun. Now what can go wrong?</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733699033424793236noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-63508381394462932022013-01-26T20:30:00.001+00:002013-03-24T18:08:29.201+00:00Dorset Crab Apple and Blackberry Wine Tasting - Live Blog<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px;">It started one autumn afternoon walking up on The Downs in Sussex. I saw shit loads of elderberrys and something went off in my little brain. 'Can't you make booze from them?'</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px;">So I did a bit of internet research at work and spent a small fortune on buckets, bubblers, yeast, activators and all sorts of other stuff. The book I was also persuaded to buy has been a saviour, and I thoroughly recomend it to anyone who wants to start making wine at home. <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/First-Steps-Winemaking-C-J-J-Berry/dp/1854861395" target="_blank">First Steps in Wine Making</a> by C.J.J. Berry ISBN 978-1-85486-139-9</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 13px;">A few months in and 40 bottles of Elderberry wine on the shelf, I thought I needed to try some other fruits. and a little less quantity. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 13px;">So I have now brewed with more less success the following in gallon demijohns..</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px;">Grape (from a friend's allotment)</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px;">Rhubarb and Apricot</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px;">And the one 5olly is going to get balls deep into tonight :- Dorset Crab Apple and Blackberry.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD3LtCfMfCGym-ypQ3CSbyJuzkshdzGuf88a_hcRs2oOjcU-H4oGJ2oGBLCrVeUMSfgYacS83d-CTfJ874fHpeKeSIL4MHAMCP592wFynXjywfp0TzigIZVtoRsQTjaM-HMjmpwkfod4k/s1600/IMG_2826.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD3LtCfMfCGym-ypQ3CSbyJuzkshdzGuf88a_hcRs2oOjcU-H4oGJ2oGBLCrVeUMSfgYacS83d-CTfJ874fHpeKeSIL4MHAMCP592wFynXjywfp0TzigIZVtoRsQTjaM-HMjmpwkfod4k/s1600/IMG_2826.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This is it for its first racking. The port is on the chair</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">I've tried using my hydrometer for ABv but it's really fiddly so I couldn't be arsed most of the time. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222;">18 months later the first tasting was at our house on Halloween. We did the Rhubarb wine, it was ok but bit tart. Then the Rhubarb and Apricot, my personal favourite, slightly sweeter and much more drinkable. In fact I only have 1 bottle left. Then the Elderberry, disappointingly too fruity and not winey enough. Shame cos I've got about 30 bottles left. Lastly we tried the Apple and Blackberry, mutterings of 'Mmm', and 'That's not bad, it tastes like port!</span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222;">' </span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222;">Fuck me it tastes like port! </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Awesome</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">I made port without even trying!</span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 13px;">If the gooseberrys weren't so tasty I'd make wine out of them too.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px;">Beetroot wine was on the telly last week, so I am definitely having a go at that this year.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit; font-size: 13px;">9.30 - First problem.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMI4Y5fFWldSgxsjJXuJ7cHk3GURvFmk3KNoz7_jFmBa-QSTce1unHb36Y-8CuuHixoScdy1njfRgY_eKxcPLfWujRPbjcuVgmTLQ-ebkf3N_DkUPNcd2UXXXz-O5yeLY6bDpyeROECoE/s1600/BBkNoaECMAAasPw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMI4Y5fFWldSgxsjJXuJ7cHk3GURvFmk3KNoz7_jFmBa-QSTce1unHb36Y-8CuuHixoScdy1njfRgY_eKxcPLfWujRPbjcuVgmTLQ-ebkf3N_DkUPNcd2UXXXz-O5yeLY6bDpyeROECoE/s320/BBkNoaECMAAasPw.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We don't seem to own a bottle opener. :-(</td></tr>
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9.31 - Someone is a bit scared. I'm not sure if they're scared for the wine, or me...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRnoTxonM2SvO9ctdW1ba7KbjLE6IS8rCuSK1mdwxQTQQ8BPI113wzN9RVS33Yi6VtYRXdd8keATL922pVRCknAuWP15J9Vg9cUU3sHvN-gs4Vl3-8-Djww_d5sSqTndOlOR0sZR39iho/s1600/20130126_211522.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRnoTxonM2SvO9ctdW1ba7KbjLE6IS8rCuSK1mdwxQTQQ8BPI113wzN9RVS33Yi6VtYRXdd8keATL922pVRCknAuWP15J9Vg9cUU3sHvN-gs4Vl3-8-Djww_d5sSqTndOlOR0sZR39iho/s320/20130126_211522.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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9.40 - Help is at hand!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV_JPbCOfdDNqvpZjk3ZI2uSue3zk5OghGZ5SAxNQQFgwixbAq_A8_R7DCCIV3gvz2QDk9ohSAzaOcgkSjeQCREvW4u8tRWVCy0yLAOoS3xA7F1eXoT9uXm-g995XkEDxvKotEWzxzQTU/s1600/20130126_213121.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV_JPbCOfdDNqvpZjk3ZI2uSue3zk5OghGZ5SAxNQQFgwixbAq_A8_R7DCCIV3gvz2QDk9ohSAzaOcgkSjeQCREvW4u8tRWVCy0yLAOoS3xA7F1eXoT9uXm-g995XkEDxvKotEWzxzQTU/s320/20130126_213121.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">YAY! A bottle opener at the pub next door!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPYZhc7gLnkdt95hXcbcMU1tWpeyvvdH7zykKPsa67Uga97gqN1i4nfzTDUwVVagC45qZq9ODGjCysRl6JZw8VXYtvHoDPWO2hT6HqjUp3Pu7Z7O5S-N-rAiye-rRURPVsa1CXY-q_S50/s1600/20130126_213205.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPYZhc7gLnkdt95hXcbcMU1tWpeyvvdH7zykKPsa67Uga97gqN1i4nfzTDUwVVagC45qZq9ODGjCysRl6JZw8VXYtvHoDPWO2hT6HqjUp3Pu7Z7O5S-N-rAiye-rRURPVsa1CXY-q_S50/s320/20130126_213205.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">BOO!</td></tr>
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At this point I should add that the lovely barman described this wine as 'Oh God! That's fucking gorgeous' he then drank some more. He obviously has <strike>no</strike> taste buds!</div>
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10.00 - I must say this wine is very fruity... I'm saying that as my teeth now feel quite furry. A bit like the skin on a peach. (It doesn't taste like peach)</div>
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10.10 - There's discussion with @iammudrock as to whether we actually have a corkscrew or not. He maintains that I actually have one, and that I wanted to photograph the sexy barman next door.. </div>
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10.25 - About to hit the second glass. I'm still breathing and can understand the English language! Only lost two teeth.</div>
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- SHIT - That should say 10.15. Is it already going horribly wrong? What happened to the last 10 minutes???</div>
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It's still only 10.20 and i'm scared what might happen in the next five minutes.. So much so i've tied up the cats and locked myself in the bathroom... *DEEP BREATHS*</div>
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10.18 - Second glass. (When i say that i mean I threw the other glass at the wall when I finished the wine) Luckily I have 47 more.</div>
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10.30 - I think i need some cheese. Do we have cheese? Where is the robot cheese butler?</div>
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10.35 - Just found myself doing this dance, to this tune.</div>
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<a href="http://youtu.be/b0skZvqLTiw">http://youtu.be/b0skZvqLTiw</a></div>
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10.50 - i just went out for a ciggie. there might be strippers</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">end of glass two.</td></tr>
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23.10 - That last picture took about 5 hours to get in focus.</div>
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23.20 - Shit. <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120696/" target="_blank">Hard Rain</a> is on telly. It's on my list. It's only 2 hours long...</div>
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23.30 - We're discussing roller derby nicknames. So far - DEVASTATOR - TANK DEVASTATOR - BEHEMOTH - WINEOTOUR</div>
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23.40 - I THINK I NEED TO GO TO BED NOW.</div>
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5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-75361874543661954782013-01-10T08:35:00.003+00:002013-03-24T18:08:53.569+00:00Chilli Chile Chilly by @iammudrock<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's all about chilli here at the moment thanks to <a href="https://twitter.com/5olly" target="_blank">@5olly</a> and his idea for a <a href="http://www.vegetablism.com/2012/12/vegetablisms-2013-chilli-seed-trial.html" target="_blank">chilli trial</a>.<br />
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Being completely impatient and wanting to get on with growing stuff I decided to plant all 5 varieties on New Years Day.<br />
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Location location location<br />
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I have put a heated propagator under a south facing skylight in the roof of the house. Even though the sun is only 17.5 degrees elevation the roof of the house can see it when it decides to show.<br />
I have never used a heated propagator before and I am so far really chuffed with the results. It has a clear lid, I took it off for the pic.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXlOhEvvZo0l9nApepzGbev9Kc2jViu3p5OjXBMSkPRBVD6WzRSRHeP0KwSKbUWKZNLMj1nT6xbpMQN4SV9PCDn0uspabsbEukrCY5p5110tzJeY2HTL76KHbG6R0NRZrbsiGLsHCBC6yM/s1600/IMG_4081%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXlOhEvvZo0l9nApepzGbev9Kc2jViu3p5OjXBMSkPRBVD6WzRSRHeP0KwSKbUWKZNLMj1nT6xbpMQN4SV9PCDn0uspabsbEukrCY5p5110tzJeY2HTL76KHbG6R0NRZrbsiGLsHCBC6yM/s320/IMG_4081%5B1%5D.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Germination for the Nation</td></tr>
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What we have on the right are the 3 seeds of each variety for the trial.<br />
For these seeds I have used Jiffy 7 peat pellets which fit quite nicely in the cheap black seed plug trays from any DIY shop.<br />
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Left to Right (on the right)<br />
Chiltepin 1 germinated<br />
Numex Centennial 1 germinated<br />
Hungarian Yellow Wax 3 germinated<br />
Guindilla none germinated (I think) hard to tell looks like something poking up.<br />
Piquillo none germinated<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiflqhemZ_z1Vjw4ZxOD4IyGolDRd1ngX9MfhbAgbmDdtLG6u5ge706LrM2xsfvE4F-BLnQgQOAVQn07lRN1DiudPrc9B66FJJx2m6C27yaTcZAScon57AMC6EJLvgARkLjsCa6nF7KJ18v/s1600/IMG_4085%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiflqhemZ_z1Vjw4ZxOD4IyGolDRd1ngX9MfhbAgbmDdtLG6u5ge706LrM2xsfvE4F-BLnQgQOAVQn07lRN1DiudPrc9B66FJJx2m6C27yaTcZAScon57AMC6EJLvgARkLjsCa6nF7KJ18v/s320/IMG_4085%5B1%5D.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chiltepin</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
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The blurb for the Chiltepin said they germinate after passing through a bird, I considered getting a budgie but thought that wouldn't be a good idea as we just got a rescue kitten. The bird probably wouldn't have lasted long enough to shit the seeds out. So after a little head scratching the seeds reminded me a little of some bonsai seeds I once bought (waste of money). So I decided that they required some gentle scarifying, this may be what the avine (is this a word?) gut does to them. I put the precious 3 seeds between 2 nail files and gently rubbed them together then popped them in the plugs about 5mm deep.<br />
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The rest on the left are the first batch of the chillies I am growing this year<br />
Some in jiffy 7s and some in Innes No1 seed compost. <br />
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<a href="http://realseeds.co.uk/hotpeppers.html" target="_blank">Lemon Drop</a><br />
<a href="http://realseeds.co.uk/hotpeppers.html" target="_blank">Locoto</a><br />
<a href="http://www.thompson-morgan.com/vegetables/vegetable-seeds/pepper-sweet-and-chilli-seeds/chilli-pepper-padron-medium-the-tapas-pepper/871TM" target="_blank">Padron</a> - a spanish tapas pepper - all these have germinated!<br />
<a href="http://jungleseeds.co.uk/contents/en-uk/d34.html" target="_blank">Big Jim</a><br />
<a href="http://jungleseeds.co.uk/contents/en-uk/d34.html" target="_blank">Black Hungarian</a> - all these have germinated!<br />
Guindilla<br />
Malawi<br />
<a href="http://www.thompson-morgan.com/vegetables/vegetable-seeds/pepper-sweet-and-chilli-seeds/chilli-pepper-naga-jolokia-very-hot/4753TM" target="_blank">Naga</a><br />
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I bloody love chillies<br />
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Now I had better start thinking about the other stuff to grow this year.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733699033424793236noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-48514293392941845882013-01-06T14:32:00.000+00:002013-03-24T18:08:53.558+00:00First thoughts on the 2013 Chilli Trial by @MisterNW<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">Right! As promised, a brief note on the Chilli Challenge kindly arranged and coordinated by 5olly. Which I’m guessing is a version of Olly but I’m not 100% sure and he hasn’t corrected me on it yet.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">Before I start I shall be referring to the little hot things (during all stages of development) as Chillies. Largely because I have only really used the single ‘L’ spelling when referring to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and this whole spelling issue seems to cause some confusion.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">I am not , nor perhaps will ever be, the best gardener although I have found that there are a few things I’m good at. I once dug up, sifted and de-stoned our garden and re-laid the lawn from seed and, if the weather is fine and the grass not too long or too large an expanse to deal with, I can cut the grass pretty well. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">Hanging baskets fail me and unless under my nose, plants tend to get put to the back of an ever increasing to-do list. There are two exceptions to this:</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">1 – A seemingly immortal orchid</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-pf3qoHVgPgs0i0m07nQjtxi7Pk10AkwKZ5skNjkFZC7B0fOs4zn6dmmUVp0l_YsAOpr7UKNra095ibGm2ibAV33-Lvl1W-dwM_Rhf44XfH00GAuoHfebhtbzsO5ShBpDOIPYqsXBDps/s1600/photo+up(92).png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-pf3qoHVgPgs0i0m07nQjtxi7Pk10AkwKZ5skNjkFZC7B0fOs4zn6dmmUVp0l_YsAOpr7UKNra095ibGm2ibAV33-Lvl1W-dwM_Rhf44XfH00GAuoHfebhtbzsO5ShBpDOIPYqsXBDps/s320/photo+up(92).png" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The orchid, yesterday.</td></tr>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">The orchid was a given to us by my mum several years ago who had been given it but had no time to deal with it. Although in flower when we got it, it soon lost them and, after spending what seemed an eternity as a green stalk after about 18 months it flowered and has periodically kept flowering since. Unfortunately at intervals it has been bothered both by cats and children reducing it to a bare stalk each time. Not perturbed however, and with the nod of approval from an imaginary Gardeners Question Time type, I decided to prune it hard and fast to try and get it to grow again. To my amazement, green shoots started to appear and, once trained skywards were soon flowering again. This has been the life of the Orchid ever since, sticks to flowers, to sticks.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGBMaTDPrhKKN8y77AfX3yctTYLBEP4J2onTFhWB_sYfgAoOvX_6VXzTcfKZhWnc9aDgGM8F45M1IEbkPMy4SjKVoO22GRSnGT-DrWU16R3yU4IGaQYvNAeB9d78K2PgTnLbPvJWzMjgY/s1600/orchid+compleat.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGBMaTDPrhKKN8y77AfX3yctTYLBEP4J2onTFhWB_sYfgAoOvX_6VXzTcfKZhWnc9aDgGM8F45M1IEbkPMy4SjKVoO22GRSnGT-DrWU16R3yU4IGaQYvNAeB9d78K2PgTnLbPvJWzMjgY/s640/orchid+compleat.png" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The orchid, last summer.</td></tr>
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2 <span style="color: black;">– A chilli plant</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">The other, and slightly more relevant, thing I’ve had success with is my chilli plant though admittedly I have never grown one from seed; mine was brought as a shoot from a local garden centre about ten years ago.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">I can’t recall now why I decided to grow a chilli plant as all I really knew what to do with the resulting chillies (and there were bloody loads of them) was to freeze them. I then defrosted them with the intention of using them though most were thrown out. I am however a lover of all hot food, jalapenos etc. so maybe there was a master culinary plan in there somewhere.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">Anyway, when I saw 5olly’s Vegetabilism post and tweet about volunteers for a chilli challenge, I thought I’d give it a shot, perhaps choose one variety and try and grow it from seed. I was quite surprised then when a seed sample of all five turned up.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">I particularly like the look of Nos 3 and 4 and, with regards to 5 and the interests of science, I have just found myself Googling “imitating the digestive tract of a bird”. The results are varied and although tempted to experiment with a warm pan of some sort of vinegar solution, I think I’ll go the regular route. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">I had intended to germinate and sow the seeds this weekend but unforeseen circumstances have postponed that. I’m off instead to Google seed germination and will be back once in full swing.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You can follow @MisterNW on Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/misternw" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></span></div>
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5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-74313084093576930832013-01-03T18:23:00.000+00:002013-03-24T18:08:53.563+00:00Growing Oca - A guest post by Manley<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">So, back in the heady days at the start of 2012, before we knew that it would be the wettest year on record or that </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Savile" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">Jimmy Saville</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"> touched kids, 5olly started banging on about some shit called oca. I have eaten </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Okra" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">ocra</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"> before and it was frankly abhorrant, and I have seen the odd </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killer_whale" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">orca</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">, although not yet tasted it, but oca was a new one on me. To be honest, I just thought the old fool had made it up or heard it wrong, you know what he is like.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am pretty much up for anything, shy of incest or <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morris_dancing" target="_blank">morris dancing</a>, so I thought I would give it a whirl and bought myself ten tubers from that there ebay. For the princely sum of seven of your English pounds and twenty shiny copper pennies. I then sat down with a nice gin to wait.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">A quick Google tells me that <span style="line-height: 14.54px;">Oxalis tuberosa is a perennial herbaceous plant that overwinters as underground stem tubers. These tubers are known as oca, from the Quechua words okka, oqa, and uqa; New Zealand yam; and a number of other al<span style="font-family: inherit;">ternative names. All I really care about is how they taste and whether they are easy to prepare. I have worries as they look vaguely reminiscent of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stachys_affinis" target="_blank">Crosnes</a> and, as any allotmenter will tell you, any sort of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerusalem_artichoke" target="_blank">Jerusalem a</a></span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerusalem_artichoke" target="_blank">rtichoke</a>, whilst jolly tasty, is a bugger to prepare and, once planted, will be harvested every season for the rest of your life. By everyone on the plot. Artichoke are second only to horseradish in the 'not bloody dying' stakes.</span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 14.54px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Mmm! Steaks.</span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 14.54px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">No, sorry - vegetables. They came in a jiffy bag and I made a small joke which my wife failed to understand, so I put them out in an egg box on the windowsill to erupt with spring joy. Not much happened for some time. I drank some more gin. I made some more gin. I drank some more gin. 5olly assured me that it was worth the wait, since I would be rewarded with sweet cricket balls of cool, radishy brassica joy. I think he was talking about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kohl_rabi" target="_blank">kohl rabi</a>, to be honest, but at least the gin was still good.</span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 14.54px;"><em><span style="font-family: inherit;">A quick tip: anyone who has difficulty remembering to attend to their vegetables when inside on the windowsill, just store the gin bottle next to them and you will never miss a day.</span></em></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 14.54px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">One morning, shortly after I buried the cat, I noticed a smallsprout appearing and my heart leapt. At last the oca was going to amount to something. Things progressed quickly from here - all ten tubers developed ears and soon they were ready for pots. I was a man beside himself with excitement as I waited for the first shoots to break the surface of the soil. It took bloody ages. Stupid 5olly and his stupid oca. With postage they worked out about a pound a pop and frankly they were not as much fun as the similarly priced fags which I had given up scant decades before. I am not a man known for my patience, but I persevered. Every morning and evening I paused en route to the gin bottle and tutted nasally at the undisturbed pots of compost taking up valuable kitchen space. Stupid oca.</span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 14.54px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Obviously, were that the end of the tale, I would not have bothered writing about it. "Paid £10 to bury pebbles in mud" is not really a lifetime achievement, so it is not really going to be much of a spoiler when I tell you that <span style="color: black; line-height: normal;">they did come through in the end and, once they were about 5" tall, I put them into a well dug and composted bed, just across from the asparagus. This is prime real estate, chez Manley, so they had a lot to live up to.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 14.54px;"><span style="color: black; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The chance of frost was now in the past, so I just got on with watering and watching them grow. The growth pattern was much like a squid, languishing on a beach in San Diego after a particularly boisterous work christmas do. They seem incapable of anything other than falling over and growing laterally, but there was a fair amount of foliage so, whilst they never astounded me, I remained confident. I mean, tubers, right? Yeah? Of course. What could go wrong?</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 14.54px;"><span style="color: black; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Well, nothing went wrong, as far as I can tell. The oca grew, the oca died back, I covered it with some fleece (actually the ever lovely <a href="https://twitter.com/DevonJim" target="_blank">Jim</a>, love of my life and mother to my children put fleece on it, but I knew about it, so it was almost me) and then, a couple of weeks later, I harvested my bountiful crop.</span></span></span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC9aXjDA9RLkt9fs86sTRUj51wyA9Rh0yKcCy6MyLB0f_cUtCYs6xcQHZ19tTHlJxw4alJ7c9Ky5GxbxEFPII2LagGoP3hNUL7P5OxNnuehu4wD8wv-TKjnnu71F8CSvX5WD5nn710s_U/s1600/ocaman.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC9aXjDA9RLkt9fs86sTRUj51wyA9Rh0yKcCy6MyLB0f_cUtCYs6xcQHZ19tTHlJxw4alJ7c9Ky5GxbxEFPII2LagGoP3hNUL7P5OxNnuehu4wD8wv-TKjnnu71F8CSvX5WD5nn710s_U/s1600/ocaman.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The complete crop. (Not worth it)</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">What a cake and arse party. I couldn't feed a guinea pig for an hour on that lot. Half of them were eaten by slugs or worms of some kind (so much for not being </span>susceptible<span style="font-family: inherit;"> to blight) and there were only about 5 big enough to constitute actual foodstuffs. The plot needs to be set aside for basically the whole year, I got no flowers and the result tastes like a slightly shit potato.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheC8HR7UR6rZxkBpEacrbM86m3RBgKWJV8uKTq2TDazZLTd3UnmL-7BcUw6OS8a4g3ExYnWiuCfgZRl9wxo4M26juyJDZC65mGyccPdC8PY4_JRvLexRh6eSOPIlrTOzuxqsVC-euDQK8/s1600/ocaflowercross.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheC8HR7UR6rZxkBpEacrbM86m3RBgKWJV8uKTq2TDazZLTd3UnmL-7BcUw6OS8a4g3ExYnWiuCfgZRl9wxo4M26juyJDZC65mGyccPdC8PY4_JRvLexRh6eSOPIlrTOzuxqsVC-euDQK8/s1600/ocaflowercross.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No flowers.</td></tr>
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<span style="line-height: 14.54px;"><span style="color: black; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">To summarise: Oca; not worth the bleedin; effort, chum.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 14.54px;"><span style="color: black; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I shall, of course, be growing them again this year.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 14.54px;"><span style="color: black; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You can follow @LordManley on Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/LordManley" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></span></span></div>
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5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-13982185705326485692012-12-15T10:47:00.000+00:002013-03-24T18:09:19.900+00:00Vegetablism's 2013 Chilli Seed Trial !!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As all our lovely readers know, we here at Vegetablism are inherently lazy. Not only are we lazy up the allotment, we're also lazy at regularly posting anything that we have actually written ourselves, but then we really do love contributions from our fellows, and we hope they love taking part.<br />
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It might not be the easiest thing in the world to stand up in front in a room full of people and say "My name is Gary, and I'm an alcoholic." But I think it is easier to sit down in your own home and write (under a nickname) that you are a Vegetablist, and generally useless at growing anything. You can even have a drink while you're writing it.</div>
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So with this mind, it was decided here in the Vegetablism Shed to get as many people playing along as possible. We reckoned to have a chilli trial.</div>
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So far we have 14 people (including us) taking part. I won't list their names, but many have either written a guest post or frequently talk vegetables on Twitter. I will list the chillis with a quick rundown on how to get sowing. I don't imagine that anyone will actually follow the instructions to the letter, after all, we're mainly shit at this sort of thing.</div>
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It's not too late if you yourself want to take part. I still have some seeds left and they're also all available to buy on ebay for as little as 99p per packet.</div>
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So without further ado.... *Drum roll* Anything in bold text, is what is written on the packet. It doesn't all make sense, but there might be clues there that I'm missing. Who fucking knows.</div>
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1. - Piquillo</div>
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A Spanish pepper named "The Little Beak." <b>Sow indoors Jan - May and harvested from July to Dec. Medium sized fruits with a round hearted shape and smoth surface. Very meaty and sweet, red when ripened.</b> These were actually purchased in Southern Spain by a Vegetablist for €1. This is how much we care!</div>
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2. - Guindilla</div>
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Another seed purchased in Spain, this one isn't the hottest and you regularly get it in tapas over there. It also looks like the chilli you get in kebabs!<b> Sow indoors Dec - May and harvest from Jun till Dec. Cylindric fruits variety, long and narrow, rather curved, tepring. Very piquant flavour - suitable for hanging. </b>I'm not entirely sure what the hanging bit means. But some of our more observant readers may have noticed that YOU<span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span>CAN SOW THESE RIGHT AWAY!</div>
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3. - Hungarian Yellow Wax</div>
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<b>Elongated, 6-inch peppers have sweet waxy flesh tapered to a blunt tip. Ripen from Green to Yellow and Red if left to over-ripen on the plant. Delightful in salads, roasted or grilled and exquisitely pungent pickled. Famous for it's amazing yields. Harvest in 68 days from planting out. </b>Well that's fucking useful isn't it. "When can I sow them?" I hear you ask! I reply "I don't fucking know!"</div>
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4. - NuMex Centennial</div>
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The variety 'NuMex' are an interesting selection of chillis bred at the New Mexico State University's Agriculture Experimental Station. These are basically SCIENCE. <b style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;">This was the first truly ornamental variety bred by the New Mexico State University intended for growing in small containers. It was released in 1988 to celebrate their NMSU's Centennial celebrations. 'NuMex Centennial' has purple flowers and purple foliage. The upright hot fruits, </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">¾" long by ½" wide, </span></span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>are purple, then ripen to yellow, orange, and finally red. Very similar in appearance to the Bolivian Rainbow. 95 days. </b>Really useful growing instructions once again....</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">5. - Chiltepin</span></span></div>
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The original wild chilli!!!! <b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; letter-spacing: 0.3pt;">One of the oldest known varieties which still grows wild in Mexico and the original wild chilli parenting almost all of todays domesticated chillies. The small round ½” very hot fruits are produced in abundance maturing to a vivid red and resembling light on a Xmas tree. The heat is intense, </span><span style="font-size: 12pt;">considered “arrebatado” which means “rapid” or “violent” because the intense heat is not long lasting, unlike many chile peppers that have a slower and more enduring effect. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; letter-spacing: 0.3pt;">The plants are strong growers but will become tall and spindly if not pinching out to encourage a bush structure. </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; letter-spacing: 0.3pt;">The variety is one of the hardest to germinate as it usually passes through a Birds digestive system first and cultivating takes considerable time. Do not expect high germination rates, although the higher the soil temperature achieved the better the success rate. It will potentially crop lightly in the first year but is always best over-wintered in a warm frost free environment if possible, upon which the crop in the second year will be tremendous. </span></span></b><span style="font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>This variety is best for the experienced growers only and requires patience. </b>Hmm. "a bird's digestive tract" This one should be interesting!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So there you have it! What could possibly go wrong?</span></span></div>
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5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-59538413191546882372012-12-09T10:54:00.001+00:002013-03-24T18:09:19.917+00:00What I Learned From Pickling Onions - A guest post by Mike<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Vegetables and I haven't always got on well. Other than meat and E-numbers, my diet is pretty much limited to foods that make people stink - onions, chillies and garlic with the occasional egg thrown in for luck. It's horrendous. My insides detest me. On more than one occasion I've found myself in the house with no food, and ended up eating a bowl of onion. A BOWL OF ONION. That's not a meal for a 29-year-old man. I have a metabolic age of ninety.</span><br />
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While browsing the onion section of my local supermarket (an enormous shop I only visit three aisles of), I saw a bag of a product called Pickling Onions. I've been eating pickled onions my whole life - at home, in pubs, in chip shops - and it had never occurred to me that you could pickle your own. How had this passed me by? I felt like a man who'd been sitting down to wee all his life suddenly realising he could do it standing. A bag of pickling onions went in the trolley among my other purchases (meat, Ribena, condiments), followed by pickling vinegar, which I also didn't know existed. I left Morrisons with a spring (onion) in my step, immediately running into a girl I went to school with.</div>
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"I'm going home to pickle some onions!" I said to her.</div>
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"Oh" she said politely. "You know you can buy pickled onions, right?"</div>
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This did nothing to temper my enthusiasm, and a mere four or five days of eating nothing but crisps later, I was ready to start. The process of pickling onions is easy but fiddly - all you have to do is peel loads of small onions (which takes ages), leave them overnight covered in salt, rinse them, dissolve sugar into your vinegar by boiling it and jar the lot up. Doing it makes your kitchen stink like hot vinegar for a few hours, which isn't amazing, but possibly helps preserve your curtains. I threw some chili flakes in there as well, because eff you that's why.</div>
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I then had to leave the jar alone for two weeks. I decided to wait several weeks longer for extra vinegariness. When I eventually sampled my delicacies, which I had named Turbo Fucking Batman Onions, I nearly blew the top of my skull off. Eating them was like having the core of the earth in my mouth. Amazing. </div>
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I'm still struggling through my giant jar of onions because they're as hot as Satan's nards, but if I had a bit more space in my flat, and a longer attention span, and a sous chef to prepare the onions for pickling, I could definitely get into this as a hobby. The frustrating thing would be perfecting your technique, as whatever you did you'd have to wait x amount of weeks to find out if it worked. I can see the appeal though, and can think of less plausible futures for myself than scurrying through darkness among crudely-labeled jars, eternally seeking that perfect onion, stinking like a motherfucker.</div>
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Should you wish to, Mike can be found on Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/mikeisbrill" target="_blank">here</a>.</div>
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Or you can read his informative<a href="http://mikerampton.wordpress.com/" target="_blank"> blog</a>.</div>
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5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-33477769943191700272012-12-02T08:31:00.000+00:002013-03-24T18:09:19.904+00:00A guest post by the lovely Chant's Cottage.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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If there's one thing we've learnt this year, a year of misery, wetness and toil, it's that growing vegetables is for fools, and blogging is for idiots.</div>
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So on that note may I introduce you to the lovely Sarah from the impressive blog that is <a href="http://chantscottage.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank">Chant's Cottage</a>. A true Vegetablist, if there ever was one. And there is..</div>
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<b>Midwinter in the Garden of Mud and
Weevils</b></div>
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Entropy. The notion that nature tends
from order to disorder. As much as you fight against chaos it will
win, in the end. And chaos being a state rather than a proper person
WON'T EVEN CARE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. Except there is no other way.
We will all turn back into dust one day. Eventually EVERYTHING will
turn to dust, even the dust will get just that bit more dusty. Life
and all we do while alive is ultimately pointless.
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNBMjKMYVstzXqDBUda9rXKjA8PVwEr0K6MLdKwJOz-onrE-9XPJV-4kGumWVh8qDIfAq67OSYFjK7BZmx8SJd2eg_FOpZYdOIVpc8tUCQ92-JjC2kCYFcXeBI94TCDIHeXb05y39AFwQ/s1600/Entropy-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNBMjKMYVstzXqDBUda9rXKjA8PVwEr0K6MLdKwJOz-onrE-9XPJV-4kGumWVh8qDIfAq67OSYFjK7BZmx8SJd2eg_FOpZYdOIVpc8tUCQ92-JjC2kCYFcXeBI94TCDIHeXb05y39AFwQ/s320/Entropy-1.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some entropy happening, yesterday.</td></tr>
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Yes, Christmas is coming. I am getting
fat. This is mainly because my exercise to scoffing ratio is steadily
increasing. And as it gets darker and colder it will only widen yet
further, no doubt, necessitating further belt notches to be hewn and
by January the elasticated trouser will become the only sartorial
road open to me, barring a Homer Simpson / Margo Leadbetter style
kaftan. When we moved to this heap of mud and straw surrounded by a
clay slick on top of Devon nigh on a year ago, I thought that having
a nice future vegetable garden a dog-chewed Barbie head's throw away
would mean that that I would never have need of a gym again (you
know, after the other time) and the calories would be burned up like
a job lot of Toploader LPs erroneously delivered to our house on
bonfire night, what with the digging and the hoeing and the
scrantling and such. And what's more I would be living on a diet of
the freshly picked bounty of my toil, armfuls of frondy, greeny,
rooty, fruity home-grown produce brimming with anti this and pro that
and would therefore have no further need of chocolate covered
pretzels, cheese, gin and the like. (What? WHAT?)</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Small Vegetables.</td></tr>
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Because of course, what happened was
this: it rained. And rained and rained. I dug a bit. I grew a few
things. I stopped digging. Planted the things out. The things mainly
died or got eaten by life forms other than me. The weeds did not die.
They did the opposite of die and did it awfully well. Then we had the
worst Summer that has EVER BEEN (or thereabouts, certainly since the
Cretaceous period but then we all know what a moaning minnie your
average diplodocus is. “Asteroid”. I ask you.) It barely got
light, as if the sun was permanently hidden behind a big cloud or
something. It rained a bit more. And then a lot more. And that was
the Summer. And now it is late, late Autumn and, like me, even the
weeds have more or less lost the will to live. Except my new weed,
which appeared only at the end of Summer.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">New weed.</td></tr>
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I ignored it until last week when I
found it had filled in every space around my leeks and baby onions,
and spent an exhausting hour ripping it up. Elsewhere, my five year
old daughter managed to manhandle the gate of its hinges and by
scooting past it, enabling any passing chicken to freely have a pop
at the last of the rainbow chard and embryonic garlic currently
rotting beyond the strangled leeks.</div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ_cyoU3uNVnrIlYksluH5XXbSOyojGp4zb-DYDXHmmf2Tc8zIcSIGySw_CxpqiWfCQHL75MhugVX5yxrJ5NQOe_QwlwXNp3BuFGrC2409B2zFY-vZrMt2GksIg7Ub5XlqBfTAdSWUArc/s1600/Gate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ_cyoU3uNVnrIlYksluH5XXbSOyojGp4zb-DYDXHmmf2Tc8zIcSIGySw_CxpqiWfCQHL75MhugVX5yxrJ5NQOe_QwlwXNp3BuFGrC2409B2zFY-vZrMt2GksIg7Ub5XlqBfTAdSWUArc/s320/Gate.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A gate.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
We have a greenhouse that resembles a
large green birdcage. It is twisting itself to death from the inside,
its frame buckling as it sinks into the part of the swamp that is the
lower half of the veg plot it was naively, nay idiotically
constructed upon. In mid August, at which point it housed only one
yellowing cucumber plant in a mouldy grow bag and a lot of very smug
looking nettles, one of the panes fell out and shattered. The bits of
glass remain on the flagstone in front of the empty frame, now
submerged under two inches of water. Another full height pane blew
AROUND A CORNER in the recent gales (ie September and October in
general) but miraculously remained intact, albeit no longer part of
an actual greenhouse and as such a bit useless, other than as a big
slide for the ants.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0KLK1On6YqhMUtnS84A4x6Tu5rSjZ2dpYMy4G3QD4AWvHpe81s-HGLzCQhdpCJwFCBSJ4mCfa8t6-ncY1i0thHsaGPetOk34nCUsygl1F0Kdl4eZD5uNxVwNF52XciB-wATWhCA47i2s/s1600/Glass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0KLK1On6YqhMUtnS84A4x6Tu5rSjZ2dpYMy4G3QD4AWvHpe81s-HGLzCQhdpCJwFCBSJ4mCfa8t6-ncY1i0thHsaGPetOk34nCUsygl1F0Kdl4eZD5uNxVwNF52XciB-wATWhCA47i2s/s320/Glass.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Invertebrate slide.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But, you know, fair's fair. I am
willing to accept that as a novice grower of vegetables / anything
and quite a lazy one at that it has not been the best year to create
an allotment. On one hand, I can blame the combination of bad weather
and lack of experience / gumption for my failures and wait for next
year, but on the other there has been so little of the elation I've
been groomed to expect from gardening magazines and any one of the
billions of infuriatingly chipper garden blogs I have perused
feverishly over the months, it has been hard to heft myself to the
plot in the way I hoped.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHJdl4jgoCvcYw4H23lQenSrZYPl_I09OZb1W8VNPyKcze1qdzVmhKNJ10yQ7VSMW9n2Cb3CgEGIUUpUumPr9hcn7XY4Sk5a7CDpnRZ309li8AOsGvkHTWogcr4qDoVtogGvMZugHy7v4/s1600/Magazine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHJdl4jgoCvcYw4H23lQenSrZYPl_I09OZb1W8VNPyKcze1qdzVmhKNJ10yQ7VSMW9n2Cb3CgEGIUUpUumPr9hcn7XY4Sk5a7CDpnRZ309li8AOsGvkHTWogcr4qDoVtogGvMZugHy7v4/s320/Magazine.jpg" width="267" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What's wrong with her neck?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
All year I have heard stories told of
successes despite adversity, of how easy it is to grow beetroot, in
my case dead easy if all you want from your beetroot is 3mm purple
stalks. If you read selectively enough, you would be hard pushed to
find a vegetable that isn't low maintenance and great for beginners.
On this very blog, I was subjected to the sight of a cabbage bigger
than <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Sievey" target="_blank">Frank Sidebottom's</a> mouldering skull. Grown this year. How? HOW?!
Here is one of my better cabbages, next to my petite, attractive,
size five welly:</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUqRrtvuYKKPw2nM916B9khLGiJsxnK23-Sbfe1IW6HzmrlLGlS-_mKq9_xphw9R4AbNjrRYt46aPau4HcuQ7kVN0ZdGNlwGu8vB6wJicc90zxTA8yNGF8fE8XpxcXN3i-BSuHD7VdTbw/s1600/Cabbage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUqRrtvuYKKPw2nM916B9khLGiJsxnK23-Sbfe1IW6HzmrlLGlS-_mKq9_xphw9R4AbNjrRYt46aPau4HcuQ7kVN0ZdGNlwGu8vB6wJicc90zxTA8yNGF8fE8XpxcXN3i-BSuHD7VdTbw/s320/Cabbage.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A welly.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
When it's all cold and dank and there
are wet black leaves stuck to everything, it's hard to look months
ahead and hope that next year will be different, even though the
chances are it really will be, because it couldn't be any worse, and
frankly neither could I. And that's not to say I haven't had quite a
few minor successes; apart from the leeks and chard I grew quite a
lot of tomatoes, some of which turned red and they only cost about
twenty five pence each. I didn't buy salad all Summer, managed to
catch quite a few courgettes before they rotted, and currently have
more Jerusalem artichokes than I frankly know what to do with. And
I'm here now. The beds have been dug. I've even got round to chucking
leaf mould on some of them. And I will probably get round to planting
the shallots I have artfully and usefully arranged on this cracked
cake stand atop the microwave at some point. When the ground thaws
out again.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihHRQPE4a7jcaFU4PAC_hQ1TiCGsolmpwIGgfbp5a4wua80zEs7Lp6H3A5GrsE48nRq70xEfpDbeo8ipinrBBilQvqcV5gEKDFXP0zdZtBewrDQPqnwfxBoOoQHRlF9baK54cxFvmHCgU/s1600/Shallots.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihHRQPE4a7jcaFU4PAC_hQ1TiCGsolmpwIGgfbp5a4wua80zEs7Lp6H3A5GrsE48nRq70xEfpDbeo8ipinrBBilQvqcV5gEKDFXP0zdZtBewrDQPqnwfxBoOoQHRlF9baK54cxFvmHCgU/s320/Shallots.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shallots.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
And at the end of the day (ie about
half past two) despite my ineptitude, I've learnt a lot because at
the beginning of the year I knew practically nothing. I'm probably
always going to be more of a cook than a gardener, so all I want is
to get to a point where I can fill my face with my garden, for it to
give me culinary options. At the moment the options are chard or leek
or Jerusalem artichoke or leek and chard or leek and Jerusalem
artichoke etc. Or ALL THREE!</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0GtLVA-4UW_TqSn7ZWpb8hyphenhyphench9wf4F_wYpClt2GiZuj18o-XrLjIEDXaMhNXK0qXN8hEj7FBBNU-muEbfm21ieo1ysKHjqzm5iUtUqe51jiyK6ZJ80AtlCBljE7ywCbUhAh9FT_frMB0/s1600/Soup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0GtLVA-4UW_TqSn7ZWpb8hyphenhyphench9wf4F_wYpClt2GiZuj18o-XrLjIEDXaMhNXK0qXN8hEj7FBBNU-muEbfm21ieo1ysKHjqzm5iUtUqe51jiyK6ZJ80AtlCBljE7ywCbUhAh9FT_frMB0/s320/Soup.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Soup.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Pathetic Allotment Dreg Wintery Warmery
Chicken Noodle Soup</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
DISCLAIMER: I don't really have any
truck with quantities when not strictly necessary.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Ingredients:</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Leftover chicken (you don't even need
this really)</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Fresh chicken stock (use a stock cube
if you want. In the grand scheme of things, it's all dust)</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Jerusalem artichokes, peeled and sliced
into 2mm slices</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Chard, stalks separated and chopped
into 3cm bits</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Leeks, preferably with the soil
removed, chopped into 1cm bits</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Garlic (FROM A SHOP unless you have
some you've grown, in which case you could use that I suppose. Show
off.)</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
A red chilli / hot sauce if all your
chillis went leggy and never produced any chillis, for example.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Lime juice (not necessary. I mean, all
of it's POINTLESS, but this is slightly more so)</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Fish sauce (a single drop or it'll
taste like, well, fish sauce)</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Thin noodles, either glass (not actual
glass, obv) or egg. I care not.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Slosh of soy sauce</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Tblspn vgtbl l</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Method:</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
1 - Fry up leeks and chard stalks in
the vegetable oil. Chuck in soy sauce.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
2 – Add garlic after a bit – don't
burn it WHATEVER you do</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
3 – After the leeks and chard are a
bit cooked, add stock. Add chilli / hot / fish sauce (watch it).</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
4 – Add noodles, chicken and chard
leaves</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
5 – When the noodles are nearly done,
throw in the artichoke. It's basically there instead of water
chestnuts. It seems very wrong because it looks like raw spud but IT
WORKS!
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
6 – Serve in an enormous silver bowl
with lashings of ginger wine.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<b>STOP PRESS – I bought some garlic to
plant earlier. It's still in my handbag. Later I'll probably put it
on the cake stand with the shallots.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
You can follow Chant's Cottage on Twitter here :- <a href="https://twitter.com/chantscottage" target="_blank">@chantscottage</a><br />
Or read the blog <a href="http://chantscottage.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank">here</a>.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
</div>
5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-58438497046755171072012-11-12T18:41:00.000+00:002013-03-24T18:09:19.913+00:00Chillis are rubbish - Part 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I hate chillis. I even hate the fact that in this global place called the internet I don't even know if I should spell it 'chilli' or 'chili'... So in the spirit of Vegetablism, I'm going to refer to them as 'penises'. Damn you America and your evil destruction of the English language.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA80eIbdTvmTggcIdAQh_Xk4Y4l_lnNr61_rZ6Lq5BAymrHv6LBsbntXx2tKrukFqUvKT8N5IReOy1ZwmguMB6hbnmowRDEX2Bi3hLBOn96SQUFcpLkoxBv3Ur2AykTo1L-6ZYJvjZEKs/s1600/IMG_20121112_183345.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA80eIbdTvmTggcIdAQh_Xk4Y4l_lnNr61_rZ6Lq5BAymrHv6LBsbntXx2tKrukFqUvKT8N5IReOy1ZwmguMB6hbnmowRDEX2Bi3hLBOn96SQUFcpLkoxBv3Ur2AykTo1L-6ZYJvjZEKs/s320/IMG_20121112_183345.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bastards</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
As a young teenager, the first penis I ever attempted to grow was an abject failure. I'll admit that I did many things wrong but I was young and naive. I placed my penis in an old teapot and just left it there in the vain hope that it would grow tall and erect, instead it remained small, and a bit limp if I'm honest. After several months of very little happening it started to go a bit mouldy around the roots so I chucked it up the nearest back passage where it never recovered. I still haven't recovered from that incident either...<br />
<br />
This year I decided to put this unfortunate experience behind me. Many people comment that their first time was a let down, sometimes it can even be painful. But hey, we all learn from experience and losing my penis virginity in such a manner wouldn't, nay couldn't put me off! In fact this year I was going to grow the largest, the most succulent penis anyone had ever seen. I imagined a penis so red it would make you cry, the penis would be so hot, neighbours would fear the throbbing pain promised, if stolen.<br />
<br />
After a prolonged search of the internet for the best penises to lovingly nurture and care for in my back garden, I dived in and purchased all the penises I fancied. (Which was quite alot.)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
To be continued.... (If you want that is.)</div>
5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-44468864559554650412012-11-04T13:58:00.000+00:002013-03-24T18:09:19.910+00:00Gooseberry Fools<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's been such a long time since I did a post on here, that doesn't mean we haven't been busy up the allotment, we have. After 32/2 got a weed notice from the allotment nazis we have spent most weekends, you guessed it, weeding.<br />
Weeding doesn't make for good blogging, it's boring, tiresome and monotonous.<br />
<br />
I read <a href="http://www.realmensow.co.uk/?p=1844" target="_blank">Jono's blog</a> recently about pruning and was a little inspired. On 33 we have 4 gooseberry bushes that were there when we took it over, I have had a go at them in the past but like most things up the allotment, not really knowing what I was doing. With the help of <a href="https://twitter.com/5olly" target="_blank">5olly</a> and his new <a href="http://www.samsung.com/uk/consumer/mobile-devices/galaxy-note/galaxy-note/GT-N7100RWDBTU?pid=uk_home_thelatest_left1_gt-n7100rwdbtu_20121001" target="_blank">fancy phone thing</a> we read that they need to be pruned like goblets, space in the middle cutting out any cross over branches, removing any damaged and diseased branches, any new growth should be halved in size.<br />
I didn't think to take any pictures of the actual pruning, but we ended up with several cuttings of new growth. Time to look at the fancy phone thing again and it turns out you can make these into new plants.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mudrock/8150775111/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="Untitled by Mudrock, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="374" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8465/8150775111_624870a613.jpg" width="500" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gooseberry cuttings</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I soaked the cuttings in water for 20 minutes then cut them just below a thorn, removing the thorn into my thumb, then dipped in Strike. Then just plonk them into a pot and firm down the soil, again removing thorns into my thumb.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mudrock/8150776025/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="Untitled by Mudrock, on Flickr"><img alt="Untitled" height="374" src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8330/8150776025_9942dcdf3e.jpg" width="500" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Planted Cuttings</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
My thinking behind doing 3 in a pot is that as they grow they form the goblet shape from the start, it probably won't work but it's worth a go. We'll see what they look like in the spring.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12733699033424793236noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-9010711635465586522012-09-12T19:08:00.001+01:002013-03-24T18:09:57.903+00:00A very different garden....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">A Guest Post by Lorraine. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">For those of you wondering where the normal Blogger has been lately, he has got himself mixed up in a rather different sort of blog. His mind has become bedazzled by celebrities and biscuits! but he is still also a gardener at heart, so has asked me to post for him on this blog, so that you don't all desert him. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I will say in advance, my writing style, as well as my garden are very different but I will try and write this in the spirit of this blog. Oh and I don't normally swear much so if the odd swear word I use, is a bit out of context I apologise now. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So to introduce myself My name is Lorraine and I am Solly's Seedy Penpal for August 2012.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXtCae0a0oWPezCr1oUzHzuptdQPhxEXPC23vXw7Ios5vd-LTiSYKZFlsNGI-EDD_cHglqyYuiOQhQrND3-9kROqVgL8U81f00je2dmOmRr4ziWZVtRlygArCb9a3Hn2BiF2Rl4_bu3M1w/s1600/SPPWhiteSml.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXtCae0a0oWPezCr1oUzHzuptdQPhxEXPC23vXw7Ios5vd-LTiSYKZFlsNGI-EDD_cHglqyYuiOQhQrND3-9kROqVgL8U81f00je2dmOmRr4ziWZVtRlygArCb9a3Hn2BiF2Rl4_bu3M1w/s320/SPPWhiteSml.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is the real Logo not the Chilli Penis ( I am sure Solly would say Cock) <br />
used on the sidebar of this page! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The Seedy Penpal scheme was started earlier this year by a chap we are both twitter friends with. We were paired together and Solly was asked to send seeds to me. I was very impressed with the speed with which they arrived, a nice selection for my garden. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I would imagine that this lot will generate a certain amount of wind! but as a lover of all things cabbage like, I quickly got them all planted in my garden.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The beans went in in a large pot in the greenhouse, (Yes mine has doors) as it was really a bit late for them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">They were soon growing nicely and have continued to so. No flowers yet though. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The other plants went into seed trays, again a bit late for some but they were soon growing well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The chard grew the best and I finally put that out about a week ago.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And the Cavalo Nero went out as well, protected from all the things that live in my garden that are determined to eat things instead of me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So I went out the day before yesterday to peer under the netting only to discover this!! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now I really will swear... Bastards!! I had tended that plant from a tiny seed and now after three days in my garden, the local flying population had decimated my row of lovely shiny Kale.... To say I was pissed off is an understatement. So it was plan B. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My other stuff needed to go out and as they are all brassicas as well it seemed best to mount a major defensive push to protect them all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This is what I came up with.. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnBMafeWJ2NMqWvPCj_nmuvr9Hf5sC69fcXeM-CzIZ4MwmL6HL4ih6hj5a4g7HZ5Qc-JqJKRz_d62E4O02KqZlnqmJz4mi_N7yPmsw5sG3mZaN6j3hOSj9woHiF3BWPeVVCzjCsncdu6Y/s1600/P1040219.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnBMafeWJ2NMqWvPCj_nmuvr9Hf5sC69fcXeM-CzIZ4MwmL6HL4ih6hj5a4g7HZ5Qc-JqJKRz_d62E4O02KqZlnqmJz4mi_N7yPmsw5sG3mZaN6j3hOSj9woHiF3BWPeVVCzjCsncdu6Y/s320/P1040219.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Lets hope that stops the gits from eating my plants, and also lets hope I haven't sealed anything under there with them!! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So thats it really, just a quick post to keep 5olly's readers interested (I hope) and to tell you about the seedy penpal scheme. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you are interested in joining you can sign up at <a href="http://www.carllegge.com/seedy-penpals/" target="_blank">The Seedy Penpals Page</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you want to know more about my garden come for a visit at <a href="http://www.lorrainesvegpatch.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank">Lorraines Veg Patch</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And if you want to see where the owner of this blog is spending his time at the moment visit the <a href="http://www.celebritybiscuitdatabase.com/" target="_blank">Celebrity Biscuit database</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Finally in the true Spirit of the blog, my garden has obviously realised I have made a new friend and has responded by producing two unusual vegetables</span> .</div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto;">A tomato with a phallic appendage </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And this carrot, so if you haven't enjoyed this you know what you can do!!! </span><br />
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Lorraine Pullenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10471647053257519352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-15417733010302748002012-08-30T18:23:00.000+01:002013-03-24T18:09:57.875+00:00Well wouldn't you know!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's been a long time coming, and considering the tit growing these bastards, I'm as surprised as you are... How many months has it been? I've watered them, took off their side shoots. Panicked about blight, I've even had to take the bloody the <a href="http://www.vegetablism.com/2012/08/windpocalypse-part-3.html" target="_blank">windows off</a> the greenhouse. But no, after 5 or 6 months growing and tending I got home from work to find this. A fucking <a href="http://www.thompson-morgan.com/vegetables/vegetable-seeds/tomato-seeds/tomato-black-cherry/79TM" target="_blank">Black Cherry</a> tomato! It's not even ready to eat yet, (It's supposed to be black after all) but it's a flipping tomato!!!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgen06pJ7XokhykQmapj5ciEo4P1ryt6UJdXZz1GTBFXs0hTcnk1i5HSfKgQvhvBNgfuJgyh1qQvtAIHGzhpaLW99amWzDW3BWIFIaLCuVOX7hE5O25PdOXGWZ0jOmZpLKy5EJS9PYTkdI/s1600/photo+(91).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgen06pJ7XokhykQmapj5ciEo4P1ryt6UJdXZz1GTBFXs0hTcnk1i5HSfKgQvhvBNgfuJgyh1qQvtAIHGzhpaLW99amWzDW3BWIFIaLCuVOX7hE5O25PdOXGWZ0jOmZpLKy5EJS9PYTkdI/s320/photo+(91).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How long before a slug gets it? Or it just falls off..</td></tr>
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5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-40611880270427536392012-08-24T20:05:00.001+01:002013-03-24T18:09:57.883+00:00Windpocalypse - Part 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As many long time readers will remember, my patio is rubbish. Any hint of wind and it's time to batten down the hatches or face the consequences.<br />
Seeing as it's still August you could easily assume that the weather forecast would be sunny with a small chance of a shower. I mean I live in the South-East of the UK for flips sake. As it is the <a href="http://www.metoffice.gov.uk/weather/uk/se/brighton_forecast_weather.html" target="_blank">Met Office</a> and the <a href="http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/9890495.Bank_holiday_windday_predicted_for_Sussex/" target="_blank">local paper</a> are giving out weather warnings for Saturday afternoon and evening of wind gusts up to 50mph... Let's not panic. What could possibly go wrong?<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmf5s6SfE5bVtaRgax6RKrMwKFFPa46vQKH7Zl-ZIDCjEjzZQdePljMuE3uxcG1gBbRRVGzsRjqBQlQ_ECohJ4NxB_nCIozzxsvcx46rFTmKE18ce_XVWKnW15wrJHH-c0tae0WN1rU80/s1600/WARNING.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmf5s6SfE5bVtaRgax6RKrMwKFFPa46vQKH7Zl-ZIDCjEjzZQdePljMuE3uxcG1gBbRRVGzsRjqBQlQ_ECohJ4NxB_nCIozzxsvcx46rFTmKE18ce_XVWKnW15wrJHH-c0tae0WN1rU80/s400/WARNING.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yellow = Windpocalypse</td></tr>
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The chillis are still doing bugger all apart from the Super Chilli F1 (a hybrid variety) and the Cayenne, which was bought as seeds at a marked down price of 12p from a closing down DIY superstore. The rest just seem to sit there forming flower buds and then dropping them before they even open. Rubbish.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBgXUtGhHisi8qolX7Kfm7xNxKcQZpIy6ZPP-p1eE7L28b9rnUXimyTPzmQ-WH44pomlL7JgjywVOpojhD40ITZ3dhX33EecYeUl5OvXDKMdyCC6DNpQ9Axk3PRcMTC8BZQFpQUXwiF4M/s1600/photo+(82).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBgXUtGhHisi8qolX7Kfm7xNxKcQZpIy6ZPP-p1eE7L28b9rnUXimyTPzmQ-WH44pomlL7JgjywVOpojhD40ITZ3dhX33EecYeUl5OvXDKMdyCC6DNpQ9Axk3PRcMTC8BZQFpQUXwiF4M/s320/photo+(82).JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Super Chilli F1's</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEVKnZIRL6HpetkW6H4-4V2s_Gr-gJE4u5d0UIYssxa-RIPU6_dX76WO6ua4j9kfpQuBhd_7Diq_5owdO4LQw-nnZleG3M42ekJ46rqjMhHmgIQDEIxaz28IoYTWKgfJC-jjD5apFp7AM/s1600/photo+(83).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEVKnZIRL6HpetkW6H4-4V2s_Gr-gJE4u5d0UIYssxa-RIPU6_dX76WO6ua4j9kfpQuBhd_7Diq_5owdO4LQw-nnZleG3M42ekJ46rqjMhHmgIQDEIxaz28IoYTWKgfJC-jjD5apFp7AM/s320/photo+(83).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Proper heritage chillis not doing much.</td></tr>
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The 2 tomatillo plants I've grown, have just spread over the patio in the vain hope that they might get some sun. Fat chance of that. Again there's plenty of flowers, but no fruit. They're horrible lanky, ugly plants and I won't be growing them again. I don't even know if I like the fruit having never eaten them. I doubt they're worth the effort..<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOeo2mMFfc7PyZpyfyjfFg2kk2gl8p_Pl3EDJ0sJ1Vi0KRXUX82utg970D-uI9wOoO1F_appmu8OyAR52bopxdqMqSpas1X09rihujZZSJuvLy3yVOt3TQJ4NG0uIjXtjnBYM4KqaiMM8/s1600/photo+(84).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOeo2mMFfc7PyZpyfyjfFg2kk2gl8p_Pl3EDJ0sJ1Vi0KRXUX82utg970D-uI9wOoO1F_appmu8OyAR52bopxdqMqSpas1X09rihujZZSJuvLy3yVOt3TQJ4NG0uIjXtjnBYM4KqaiMM8/s320/photo+(84).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ignore the 3 plants in the foreground, cos I like them.</td></tr>
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One of the 2 things that really worries me is the old, crap <a href="http://www.robertdyas.co.uk/P~115665~4-Tier-Greenhouse" target="_blank">greenhouse</a> from Robert Dyas as I may have grown a pile of beans up it. Considering it weighs as much as a <a href="http://www.meccano.com/" target="_blank">Meccano</a> kit attached to a helium balloon, I reckon I have every reason to worry. If this falls over then everything on it, and everything under it will be knackered.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdp0V8CRGOzwSjsoBbTIahxIudkQJVXNCUckUsUzdjb__rLPqj-CiDo3hkLaYL9j_OYRvM9KdJkqcAr25XIaHesJBL-B9jSuBZg2gOhZ0K5X6COiVemizcpfiQrrIafECY8-vHPT-Q3-A/s1600/photo+(86).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdp0V8CRGOzwSjsoBbTIahxIudkQJVXNCUckUsUzdjb__rLPqj-CiDo3hkLaYL9j_OYRvM9KdJkqcAr25XIaHesJBL-B9jSuBZg2gOhZ0K5X6COiVemizcpfiQrrIafECY8-vHPT-Q3-A/s320/photo+(86).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Try not to look at the dead peas.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6SX71dLtzAiUNraDPfOnAp4jmzxq1g01-mUdfpxwRZyzGW_7cWWYtMnKXhcPzKaOJg3dpjDLy97EdmwqVHUgeyBRVQgqU2erbE7zAxgl7P8wuS0HKlD_EjKI7zqpsaor0jJu5LXG5Fmc/s320/photo+(85).JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="240" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Notice the Cat Protection Scheme.</td></tr>
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Now I'm fully aware how crap they are generally considered, but I have had 2 years growing seedlings on mine so far. Admittedly it blew over a few times while it still had it's cover on last year, but as a shelving system it's a bargain in my opinion. Especially if like me, you're short of space, also I've never found a snail on it while the cover was off, so it's a worthwhile tool on my patio as far as I'm concerned, and all for £12! And anyway the cats appreciate it, and the cover it provides thanks to the <a href="http://www.vegetablism.com/2012/06/gardening-tips-for-june-part-2.html" target="_blank">rubble bags</a>.<br />
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What really worries me are the Black Cherry Tomatoes. Obviously these cordon tomatoes need the space to grow to their maximum height. Stupidly I didn't read that bit on the packet and grew them in my tiny greenhouse, which explains why they're hanging out all over the place. A greenhouse so small, I had to take the doors off. If the wind gets as bad as predicted tomorrow, then I have every chance of the greenhouse, and the tomato plants, blowing away. Except they won't actually blow away... They'll just ruin my garden. Joy!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNpGDmDz4EQqjXhO14ssGCa7jgj0_71z9I61FREiNP67aUw0SlffxFY3D2zrvtdClhmLpfBTOfl05VHf6cvW7yvLSiza61BwH-ZrTvNRCSJzlfCByjVXHAwB8H4y48IBCOHtcuc6t8ikI/s1600/photo+(87).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNpGDmDz4EQqjXhO14ssGCa7jgj0_71z9I61FREiNP67aUw0SlffxFY3D2zrvtdClhmLpfBTOfl05VHf6cvW7yvLSiza61BwH-ZrTvNRCSJzlfCByjVXHAwB8H4y48IBCOHtcuc6t8ikI/s320/photo+(87).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tomatoes, this morning.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKjBqdXmKkcW7xuw90lsg-rzpWxoe9hfjtopsQLiF94FHwXerMoEvIaHdhKkNbN8bfOcnDNqkZq-Av33s3cK3V9jOunI1G-yWnZhcZl0N-74PVfNGfsJg44pICVFqNNxZCBTDdAl3O2AU/s1600/photo+(89).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKjBqdXmKkcW7xuw90lsg-rzpWxoe9hfjtopsQLiF94FHwXerMoEvIaHdhKkNbN8bfOcnDNqkZq-Av33s3cK3V9jOunI1G-yWnZhcZl0N-74PVfNGfsJg44pICVFqNNxZCBTDdAl3O2AU/s320/photo+(89).JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I need a bigger greenhouse. This is only two plants I should add.</td></tr>
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5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-29947253436244369862012-08-24T09:25:00.000+01:002013-03-24T18:09:57.879+00:00Guest post regarding the delights of growing broccoli and the Terry Nutkins butterfly identification scheme.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Hello,
I’m not <a href="https://twitter.com/5olly" target="_blank">@5olly</a> but <a href="https://twitter.com/Rusty_Ricker" target="_blank">@Rusty_Ricker</a> who has kindly been allowed to do a
guest blog as I too am a Vegetablist, with varying degrees of success.</span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<b style="font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: small;">All
BUTTERFLIES ARE WANKERS</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">That
statement may seem a tad harsh and maybe unexpected as we’ve only
just met you and I, but as I gaze out of my window at my broccoli, I
can only describe the state that those little winged bastards have
left it in. It looks like it’s been fisted by </span><a href="http://m.gmgrd.co.uk/res/231.$plit/C_71_article_1405820_image_list_image_list_item_0_image.jpg?20%2F01%2F2011%2010%3A30%3A36%3A981" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;" target="_blank">Lisa Riley</a><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> (who I
have it on good authority has hands like shovels).</span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I’ve
never grown the stuff before and didn’t know it was like catnip to every
butterfly in a 5 mile radius, hence I didn’t net it or protect it
in any fashion save to make a bird scarer from a cane and pieces of
carrier bag. I think this may have encouraged the butterflies
further.</span></span></span></h4>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXzFHv0U6oAgMzWjrcEae1Wg3J8gHLaoDkuNSIqW9H-uoZY5ocXIsWV8Sn4eD0bbACFUSAu_oMQRBvyIezQK9z5qe_QqSuAsBzO9_98gGDkae3w8jsipH1DcFA2Tm0to3Ebni_an_1NOk/s1600/20120821-Veg-Blog1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXzFHv0U6oAgMzWjrcEae1Wg3J8gHLaoDkuNSIqW9H-uoZY5ocXIsWV8Sn4eD0bbACFUSAu_oMQRBvyIezQK9z5qe_QqSuAsBzO9_98gGDkae3w8jsipH1DcFA2Tm0to3Ebni_an_1NOk/s320/20120821-Veg-Blog1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A carrier bag</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">The
leaves appear holed and brown, some stripped completely in the
initial stages. I ventured out and removed around 50-60 caterpillars
which I think are <a href="http://www.ukbutterflies.co.uk/species.php?species=brassicae" target="_blank">Large Cabbage Whites</a>, they now live at the landfill
site. Everyday since without fail I pick off 10-15 small cabbage
white fuckers, green in colour and hard as hell to spot. These get
the good news with a flip flop and left on the patio as a warning to
the others</span>.</span></span><br />
<h4>
<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEhNLUkjKLG9Exvc2DEJW9HFd0El2ZWkF8mZOv4DCzm6Aq1u_03EtEd2to7JeQW_EADIAfr6EXIqLD3qziK9yBs3kK44kVg4cDYAJ8KhuF4JxbwS6RsS0mgWqtwz_wih_QQRe4h58Y7C8/s1600/20120821-Veg-Blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEhNLUkjKLG9Exvc2DEJW9HFd0El2ZWkF8mZOv4DCzm6Aq1u_03EtEd2to7JeQW_EADIAfr6EXIqLD3qziK9yBs3kK44kVg4cDYAJ8KhuF4JxbwS6RsS0mgWqtwz_wih_QQRe4h58Y7C8/s320/20120821-Veg-Blog.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Future compost</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: x-small; font-weight: normal;">It
gets worse though as it seems my only broccoli has started to flower
or bolt. I thought this was meant to happen, pretty yellow flowers,
but no, this is not a good thing. </span></h4>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, serif; font-size: x-small; font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
<h4>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh195UkBLezf2TORW0M3l_uOKII2YVSFLbjE2Xm8ygtuz3KvrJgcqcc1sJymx4VvO7EsJa_K9emXkfWEFThJbzcyAMB5fHlb8WUK25ETBz4NbJ-CPqMFA6fka5zdacT1F7aqJtCPUxJvYw/s1600/hot+off+the+press.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh195UkBLezf2TORW0M3l_uOKII2YVSFLbjE2Xm8ygtuz3KvrJgcqcc1sJymx4VvO7EsJa_K9emXkfWEFThJbzcyAMB5fHlb8WUK25ETBz4NbJ-CPqMFA6fka5zdacT1F7aqJtCPUxJvYw/s320/hot+off+the+press.jpeg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I hate broccoli</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I’m currently on 3 weeks holiday, but cannot relax as every time I see one of those
winged twats flapping about in the garden I run out, waving my hands
trying to repel the little shit and stop it laying it’s eggs on the
leaves. They seem wise to this now, no longer laying neat batches of
yellow pin heads which are easy to spot and destroy, but now laying
individual eggs all over the place. It is only butterflies that are
white in colour that lay eggs on the plant.</span><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">On
a lighter note at the front of my house there is a large oak tree
that tries to gain access to my house through my bathroom window at
night, on that tree wasps are starting to nest. You may not see the
lighter side here, but wait. <a href="http://www.ukbutterflies.co.uk/species.php?species=atalanta" target="_blank">Red Admirals</a>, who must be related
somehow to those white bastards (again unsure, I’m not a vet/<a href="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/KKfl3rleeU4/0.jpg" target="_blank">Terry Nutkins</a>) have taken to laying eggs and resting an inch from said
nest. Just waiting for the wasps to attack and sting them all to
hell.<br /> </span></span></span><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I’m
off, just seen another one, but before I go <a href="https://twitter.com/5olly" target="_blank">@5olly</a> has given me some
fantastic advice to rid me of my butterfly/caterpillar menace:</span></span></span></h4>
<div>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<h4>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">“…<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>grow
broccoli over the winter…”</i></span></span></span></span></h4>
<div>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br /></i></span></span></span></span></div>
<h4>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Gardening
is relaxing. Honest.</span></span></span></h4>
<div>
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">You can follow </span></span><a href="https://twitter.com/Rusty_Ricker" style="font-size: small;" target="_blank">@Rusty_Ricker</a> <span style="font-size: x-small;">on Twitter </span></span></span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
</div>
</div>
5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-53250205130213564562012-08-15T19:35:00.001+01:002013-03-24T18:09:57.886+00:00Biting the bullet<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I've done it. The bastard Ox Heart tomato plant is no more. What once looked like this.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7XVlqdfpfBaVtpcqt3aHLp1N5Xgg-YtM6XJIHf0M70nfXMFUIr5gdYqyRsDCROi4rA0YQ0oYmjA5byJOpoiKIHFHtd8kn7mwyGrQKE1F1rta3s8014hQAS9568Riu23y1GgUCR9pQk5E/s1600/photo+(78).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7XVlqdfpfBaVtpcqt3aHLp1N5Xgg-YtM6XJIHf0M70nfXMFUIr5gdYqyRsDCROi4rA0YQ0oYmjA5byJOpoiKIHFHtd8kn7mwyGrQKE1F1rta3s8014hQAS9568Riu23y1GgUCR9pQk5E/s320/photo+(78).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Should be called Giraffe Heart. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Now looks like this...<br />
<div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBbsmeJYrOb_xp9a574PjyzIVsb69zfojsf_AuiwPbKf57YFQMzWWMhUN1AuxKK5jVMAl7zkDE516G973T0OCo42ghuOrz4jlkgus1UFqt2L0N_knRnl6d1syP3BLddN-utNTuJmtL2qk/s1600/photo+(79).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBbsmeJYrOb_xp9a574PjyzIVsb69zfojsf_AuiwPbKf57YFQMzWWMhUN1AuxKK5jVMAl7zkDE516G973T0OCo42ghuOrz4jlkgus1UFqt2L0N_knRnl6d1syP3BLddN-utNTuJmtL2qk/s320/photo+(79).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Notice the Ear-Buzz (Patent Pending)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
To be honest I still don't think I have the dreaded blight. No other tomato plants on the patio have shown any signs of it, but I wasn't about to risk cross infection. Even so, it's mid-august and the problem plant still only had flowers on it, and no baby tomatoes. There was very little chance it was going to produce any ripe tomatoes before Christmas so I killed it and shoved it in the communal waste bin just case. Land fill. Best place for it. It's not going on my compost bin and anyway my flame-thrower has no fuel in it.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In other news the terrible attack from caterpillars seems to be halted. In total I found 4 of the bastards yesterday and none today. I should probably get up the the allotment if I'm honest and see how they're all doing up there. (The brassicas I mean, not the caterpillars.) </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCNi_I187_omCVhagrj8lAt-BxoKdhZAPaByK5DLCrHA_V8Le3vinujuWMcM7QlMRGsvW74FJ5dA4-XyHX4oNgyb3e6iq8I4SBjoBsgNk3Y4EUFIGaR9KVcDPCM_0W-sO6Xv-RszKMVOM/s1600/photo+(80).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCNi_I187_omCVhagrj8lAt-BxoKdhZAPaByK5DLCrHA_V8Le3vinujuWMcM7QlMRGsvW74FJ5dA4-XyHX4oNgyb3e6iq8I4SBjoBsgNk3Y4EUFIGaR9KVcDPCM_0W-sO6Xv-RszKMVOM/s320/photo+(80).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These probably need planting out. Under a net.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Thanks to everyone who threw advice at me. Sorry I ignored all of you! You all know who you are! For those who don't know who they are, here are their blogs or twitter ID, should you feel the need to know them better. You should cos I do. They're in no particular order.<br />
<br />
[Blog links have been deleted due to spamming bastards]<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://twitter.com/Rusty_Ricker" target="_blank">@rusty_ricker</a> </span></div>
<div>
<a href="https://twitter.com/Lorraines_Veg" target="_blank">@lorraines_veg</a> </div>
<div>
<a class="pretty-link" data-send-impression-cookie="true" href="https://twitter.com/idiotgardener" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px; outline: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><s style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px; outline: 0px; text-decoration: none;">@</s><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px; outline: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;">idiotgardener</span></span></a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 20px;"> </span></div>
<div>
<h3 class="username" style="background-color: white; direction: ltr; font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; text-rendering: optimizelegibility; unicode-bidi: embed;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"><s style="outline: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><a class="pretty-link" data-send-impression-cookie="true" href="https://twitter.com/chantscottage" style="outline: 0px; text-decoration: none;">@</a></s><a class="pretty-link" data-send-impression-cookie="true" href="https://twitter.com/chantscottage" style="outline: 0px; text-decoration: none;">chantscottage</a> </span></h3>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a class="pretty-link" data-send-impression-cookie="true" href="https://twitter.com/PatientGarden" style="line-height: 20px; outline: 0px; text-decoration: none;"><s style="text-decoration: none;">@</s>PatientGarden</a><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;"> </span></span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">If the links don't work, you all know how to cut and paste. Blogger hates the cut & paste. It also hates keeping a consistant font size. Bet it loves AIDS though. :-(</span></div>
<div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br />
<div>
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-65722006452880616512012-08-14T20:15:00.003+01:002013-03-24T18:09:57.890+00:00Is it? Or isn't it???<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b>Tomato blight! </b><br />
<br />
*dur dur durrrrr!* ***a drum roll, that slowly gets louder and louder***<br />
<br />
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
*<span style="font-size: xx-small;">a small child is seen starving in the african savanna. it only needs £3 per week :-(</span>*</h4>
<br />
This weather really has been rubbish this year. A load of people I follow on Facebook or Twitter seemingly all have had 'The Blight', and I can't help but worry!<br />
<br />
I thought that I might be alright in my new abode. I'm 30 seconds walk from the sea, no-one grows tomatoes between my patio and the surf, and pretty much the prevailing wind is from the South West. (Where the sea is.) Which in my mind implies that any tomato blight spores would have to travel from France. Which is quite a long way away.<br />
<br />
So anyway this morning I awoke gently from my slumber. ( I say 'gently', but actually I was dreaming about tornadoes and had just been sucked up, spun around and then thrown majestically through the air before landing in a Lidl car park, at which point I woke up) Anyway, I struggled downstairs, rolled a ciggie and lit it. As I looked up from the glowing ember I noticed one of the tomato plants. It was suddenly looking manky.<br />
<br />
After a quick scout around the plant some things were obvious. Some of the leaves had started to yellow, and small black spots had appeared on the leaves. The stems were fine and the tomatoes were still non-existent. Although the flowers are still yellow. (For now)<br />
<br />
Obviously I didn't take a picture. Nope instead I left for work and was so glum that in the office, everyone kept asking what was wrong with me. I mentioned the starving child in the African savannah who only needed £3, but I think everyone knew it wasn't that. It was something else. I was concerned about my tomatoes, and they knew it. :-(<br />
<br />
At 4pm I rushed out of the office, down the stairs and out of the building. The worry had built to a crescendo and nothing would, or could stop me. Two pints later and I wandered home, a dejected fool. Would all my tomatoes be a blackened stump? Their former glory, and lush green foliage a memory from the distant past? My heartbeat slowed like an old Ford Cortina with a blocked carburetor, as I tip-toed into the garden....<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigRP7jVjuPrWfP8ciRrf8OJHj7EEE5vGFny-a7Dr1JyuKkvQQJOxULppd52gwfnBbPFExYm4oNaf9nbIhL8T11JDkh-Fkj1aBkvODtNiJoGr-mAlTgrflR4lNSMMef4Nq-hEYn5dufdUA/s1600/photo+(74).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigRP7jVjuPrWfP8ciRrf8OJHj7EEE5vGFny-a7Dr1JyuKkvQQJOxULppd52gwfnBbPFExYm4oNaf9nbIhL8T11JDkh-Fkj1aBkvODtNiJoGr-mAlTgrflR4lNSMMef4Nq-hEYn5dufdUA/s320/photo+(74).JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That bay tree needs pruning</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Nope! It all looks good! Well it does from this distance. Obviously a closer examination was in order, and seeing how I couldn't really be bothered to check every leaf earlier today as they were a bit damp (and i didn't want to get a wet sleeve) I soon found some more leaves that looked like they might have the plague.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzu2C7HS1-BCoUIyio21VVpdvq1pR3mENR9HQeQIs8ycbn71UwhFxjR1s0GSf1IgcnNnjDsZHw2gQ4tcJOfMBl3GUpK5rsurHfe-QKzH8TRJG96w0MWtYrqOITTzdzh8xFmGw2n0MNGC8/s1600/photo+(75).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzu2C7HS1-BCoUIyio21VVpdvq1pR3mENR9HQeQIs8ycbn71UwhFxjR1s0GSf1IgcnNnjDsZHw2gQ4tcJOfMBl3GUpK5rsurHfe-QKzH8TRJG96w0MWtYrqOITTzdzh8xFmGw2n0MNGC8/s320/photo+(75).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Blight?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkAEFvMqJzkhLay8ySigBP0ZIqWD_2y1xQhveN1TFuSBm_5STELk1zBmltuCb-HA5SwvXVPOb2e2E7lLmoWzetDLpRi99Eiute8FbHz1pu8n44QDwoetXmmj4thyphenhyphen7v9EkFczGXj49n_Kk/s1600/photo+(76).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkAEFvMqJzkhLay8ySigBP0ZIqWD_2y1xQhveN1TFuSBm_5STELk1zBmltuCb-HA5SwvXVPOb2e2E7lLmoWzetDLpRi99Eiute8FbHz1pu8n44QDwoetXmmj4thyphenhyphen7v9EkFczGXj49n_Kk/s320/photo+(76).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A.I.D.S ?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So is it The Blight? Who knows, time will tell. They either die and produce green tomato chutney, or they turn into red tomatoes. I'm not frying them now as there's no room in the frying pan cos it's full of sausages. And anyway there's more important facts to concern myself with.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcsJRYQckbzjCjrvnYq7nkBhrbUQ_4yKBht9_kk7snNFed13MfFz95KLaTWgDVrLPj3GWWG18cXewyTWhQcOC-63uX4tIwurcpsk0eY7pPGxP40Zk-XyC9zYwrtWpSV2CUXbrCjHyMuSE/s1600/photo+(77).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcsJRYQckbzjCjrvnYq7nkBhrbUQ_4yKBht9_kk7snNFed13MfFz95KLaTWgDVrLPj3GWWG18cXewyTWhQcOC-63uX4tIwurcpsk0eY7pPGxP40Zk-XyC9zYwrtWpSV2CUXbrCjHyMuSE/s320/photo+(77).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bastards. I have enough to feed a starving child.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-87490900736144985872012-08-04T09:53:00.000+01:002013-03-24T18:09:57.898+00:00Rain stops play<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Once again I think it's rained pretty much every day this week. In fact I'm sure of it.<br />
The weather (and work) may have stopped me going up the allotment, but it hasn't necessarily stopped me playing at the hobby, that is known as 'gardening' at home.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfS4GZaQV-jdlvtp9nhL-zX-QoCiJhaH5RXm1uKs_IF8OhmNGyZDW7uNlJ9OaDuP7cE4cLpjJFOl4Ov7t5LRgddMZEL1XWfBiuxu1oSbPy9hkf0tfDohNpgxdgEicBqwzj1RtA-rPwM4I/s1600/photo+(64).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfS4GZaQV-jdlvtp9nhL-zX-QoCiJhaH5RXm1uKs_IF8OhmNGyZDW7uNlJ9OaDuP7cE4cLpjJFOl4Ov7t5LRgddMZEL1XWfBiuxu1oSbPy9hkf0tfDohNpgxdgEicBqwzj1RtA-rPwM4I/s320/photo+(64).JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's a gloriously sunny day! (except in my patio)</td></tr>
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The cucumbers have started to flower which is nice, although as usual with my patio there is lack of pollinating insects. There's only one thing left to do. Do it myself.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiV043vST76Rj0cObYfvYWzS0qJv5W7divIgkZu56idpTb4t6gYJEYJ3PxC9_-P5OaG7jfYQR13vmZUg2zPA-ciNYxR_gGZiGo4lFxEYiaz32hO0Y8PvGfHuQsbU7Gm7qAfjIG673ZOwU/s1600/photo+(63).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiV043vST76Rj0cObYfvYWzS0qJv5W7divIgkZu56idpTb4t6gYJEYJ3PxC9_-P5OaG7jfYQR13vmZUg2zPA-ciNYxR_gGZiGo4lFxEYiaz32hO0Y8PvGfHuQsbU7Gm7qAfjIG673ZOwU/s320/photo+(63).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bambino Blanco, yesterday</td></tr>
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The tomatoes are a different story though. They get the tomato sex on by being shaken roughly in the wind and rain. Obviously the Black Cherry vine tomatoes that I stupidly planted in the tiny greenhouse need to be vigorously shaken by hand a couple of times a day. Surprisingly this seems to be working and there are actually some baby green tomatoes! The tomatoes on the patio seem to be a bit slower, but they're catching up. I might even have to put some canes on them soon.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4BRUbDwtnkba_B65YFHhUBxbqF-Us15O87SqdyZh3c3aaE-D0s-cihDb8mepPfzdCU0iGIX_Yuq7wetXlbe-oP3xRukYDFLceNOKcLE5ElGXRrVIAXrEJdjD1T6_aJJBTtYnpd9UEnaw/s1600/photo+(65).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4BRUbDwtnkba_B65YFHhUBxbqF-Us15O87SqdyZh3c3aaE-D0s-cihDb8mepPfzdCU0iGIX_Yuq7wetXlbe-oP3xRukYDFLceNOKcLE5ElGXRrVIAXrEJdjD1T6_aJJBTtYnpd9UEnaw/s320/photo+(65).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is what happens when you plant 2 vine tomatoes in a 6ft greenhouse.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhutXYQHZaOrOvO4GSiI2Qrdam_iG9rXzhYcXHx5LPML5mDTR4xs7LMOf5LGSTB1E3D-5R5X4zLuK-0Ynnz5Plna3pz82rFrlrwikJNgNtgU0byHIMDLOeglJk52PELNBzxt7fyGOrohmM/s1600/photo+(66).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhutXYQHZaOrOvO4GSiI2Qrdam_iG9rXzhYcXHx5LPML5mDTR4xs7LMOf5LGSTB1E3D-5R5X4zLuK-0Ynnz5Plna3pz82rFrlrwikJNgNtgU0byHIMDLOeglJk52PELNBzxt7fyGOrohmM/s320/photo+(66).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Black Cherry tomatoes. (Green ones)</td></tr>
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The climbing french beans are doing their thing, albeit rather slowly. There are 2 plants in half a growbag. They must be over 5-foot now and nearly at the top of the shelving unit, so hopefully we'll get some flowers soon.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5t_iOgkrK5AwQTGOjI63cyxaNy4SW3iIZMpeqHTT_wmuUP5MsdnlrZLD6MQZ8_4esbzvYDfEeeycxnwk_MXWuqHmpazkZhyphenhyphen-9BX4OQKohhbxd1p-RCarklXYTQoJjoPGcStTpAEig7VY/s1600/photo+(67).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5t_iOgkrK5AwQTGOjI63cyxaNy4SW3iIZMpeqHTT_wmuUP5MsdnlrZLD6MQZ8_4esbzvYDfEeeycxnwk_MXWuqHmpazkZhyphenhyphen-9BX4OQKohhbxd1p-RCarklXYTQoJjoPGcStTpAEig7VY/s320/photo+(67).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">COME ON YOU FRENCH BASTARDS</td></tr>
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These mini-runners were only sown 2 weeks ago for a late crop. Pretty impressed so far. They're doing even better than the ones up the plot.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7WATQTOx13riii5aIdPZ57VmsSn7Vyr-KgswoY9GnPgGzUuoyzXL6Xs5SsbFkJN1FB45DI7N6C075y5WLJh7KMBZVpmUSwbiZ6aDD0siQJqV_Peph3Imqwr_UGaDy3QNAMH_93i75VGg/s1600/photo+(68).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7WATQTOx13riii5aIdPZ57VmsSn7Vyr-KgswoY9GnPgGzUuoyzXL6Xs5SsbFkJN1FB45DI7N6C075y5WLJh7KMBZVpmUSwbiZ6aDD0siQJqV_Peph3Imqwr_UGaDy3QNAMH_93i75VGg/s320/photo+(68).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">English Mini-Runner Beans being mini.</td></tr>
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The tomatillos are growing well, but frustrating. I've had plenty of flowers on each plant, but neither plant seems to have had open flowers at the same time which has made pollination impossible. Also one of the plants had a massive branch broken off. This was infuriating as it had a ton of flower buds on it. I'm blaming the cats. Or one of them anyway. I think I might blame Margo cos she's the fattest.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjecoaShBxVi4jO_U0MdEX-qZQI6PwThvMqxR1ivrYEIG7fG-TKa5igx4OlQy1Nlk6DaLzUef1glRehW-Vo2Y5Xgqzug2K9Gp3ubfuQqNLBnw9h2Ha-xIR4tTtoYg9xdiBYK6JRSrsuATQ/s1600/photo+(69).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjecoaShBxVi4jO_U0MdEX-qZQI6PwThvMqxR1ivrYEIG7fG-TKa5igx4OlQy1Nlk6DaLzUef1glRehW-Vo2Y5Xgqzug2K9Gp3ubfuQqNLBnw9h2Ha-xIR4tTtoYg9xdiBYK6JRSrsuATQ/s320/photo+(69).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tomatillos (minus one branch) yesterday</td></tr>
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The chillis are doing brilliantly. I think I have 12 varieties, of which 6 or so have flowers on, and 2 varieties have already been harvested. Super Chilli F1 and Cayenne. Due to a distinct lack of pollinators, these are all being pollenated by hand. Ear buds are the future when all the bees die. I'm thinking of buying a factory that manufactures them, except mine will have a yellow and black stick and make a buzzing sound whenever they touch a flower.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSSAbCeM011X76gHZ0QulWpFLIVSM_UoeqyrIFDZQ0p1gDfc_7t0-heTS4w_X4MsrgI9SbWUxkuA7r_YNHnmOPfgGxX3VdeIL6pkR4CL8jjaOAd6ER9_lkx_RDgu6LMNHjvxGV-ty4I80/s1600/photo+(70).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSSAbCeM011X76gHZ0QulWpFLIVSM_UoeqyrIFDZQ0p1gDfc_7t0-heTS4w_X4MsrgI9SbWUxkuA7r_YNHnmOPfgGxX3VdeIL6pkR4CL8jjaOAd6ER9_lkx_RDgu6LMNHjvxGV-ty4I80/s320/photo+(70).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Did I mention I don't like hot food?</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoA9LMNXRi0MBenIpRmOFwC2Hmas8QIaJ_KGF-i1kmHOLiCK9Wxl0BdzINHsR1138PQnXMRF0ua3tCbXCJyBZ6ioCuoSkG5r_oETFDCcrcUraKpojTGlY8SU-0mnu69BYMf1pe-F6RbrI/s1600/photo+(62).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoA9LMNXRi0MBenIpRmOFwC2Hmas8QIaJ_KGF-i1kmHOLiCK9Wxl0BdzINHsR1138PQnXMRF0ua3tCbXCJyBZ6ioCuoSkG5r_oETFDCcrcUraKpojTGlY8SU-0mnu69BYMf1pe-F6RbrI/s320/photo+(62).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Arty Guardian shot. Quite nice innit!<br /></td></tr>
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One thing I am quite proud of are the Cape Gooseberries I seem to be quite good at growing even though I'm not actually doing anything. They just seem to do it themselves. Which in my opinion is a good thing. Cos I'm rubbish.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfAo0Wgf85fjZPtuMvky0RevYOLYrOj9OcmJm4qOV0SE4VkxTxFYMOxxm9j_n2GqZPuS1PE9ierN052QsdGLCf43LjL9pFP49E6vRXn3aiTcBJ_okKt7AW4OkD32H4yYomz9zYkzH_53A/s1600/photo+(71).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfAo0Wgf85fjZPtuMvky0RevYOLYrOj9OcmJm4qOV0SE4VkxTxFYMOxxm9j_n2GqZPuS1PE9ierN052QsdGLCf43LjL9pFP49E6vRXn3aiTcBJ_okKt7AW4OkD32H4yYomz9zYkzH_53A/s320/photo+(71).JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aren't they pretty!!!</td></tr>
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<br /></div>5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-79330545769606597502012-07-29T10:39:00.001+01:002013-03-24T18:09:57.894+00:00Fuck-Offenham - The Reveal<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We had a plan. It was apparently foolproof. What could go wrong?<br />
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The monster Offenham 2 cabbage that I posted about <a href="http://www.vegetablism.com/2012/06/fuck-offenhams.html" target="_blank">here</a> was left in the ground as planned, with us holding what was ultimately an idiotic idea of getting some seeds from it, that way we could always eat monster cabbages. Turns out you need about <a href="http://www.realseeds.co.uk/brassicaseedprocessing.html" target="_blank">20 plants</a> in total before you can successfully get brassicas to do their thing. We probably had about 20 plants a few months ago, but we ate them. Cos they are bloody lovely. Too lovely.</div>
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We decided to lift the cabbage earlier this week as it still hadn't run to seed and Mudrock is also off to France and then Spain next week for a month, and I needed someone to hold the camera while I posed with the bastard under my arm. I always wanted to be a model.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqTTNF_8B6WN-76VsrtUqXMNga0MfAYaheva6HxRJ8-5bc9OsKlwk6ubMQhUS0Of62EpwWNpZ2PgZ9ENO93MjIXzeIXUSXJdBYnc2MIP0-Q5xr0EyX6OH9tBP7tP4D3El49Q2Yfgwn-5s/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqTTNF_8B6WN-76VsrtUqXMNga0MfAYaheva6HxRJ8-5bc9OsKlwk6ubMQhUS0Of62EpwWNpZ2PgZ9ENO93MjIXzeIXUSXJdBYnc2MIP0-Q5xr0EyX6OH9tBP7tP4D3El49Q2Yfgwn-5s/s320/1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me losing at hide and seek</td></tr>
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It turns out you can't just 'lift' a cabbage of this size, so secateurs were retrieved from the shed. But then it soon became apparent that they weren't big enough either, so we had to get a bloody saw out.<br />
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So for your viewing pleasure, here is the moment, a mighty cabbage fell. (May contain swearing, jerky camera movement, and the incoherent, bemused ramblings of idiots and a cabbage.)<br />
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Once the task was completed, we posed for photos, as anyone would. Look out Facebook, you're about to see some cabbagey profile pics.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-E5ZD1lj9hcUYZbUAdB9DY_kvQBh80t-LO9Q0ZSy4pfO5DXRG3rx8PXnvLqGe7IedemOlGbjix-XkcQ8xAhgO0pH6JGByOF0oVhTUwyVAXh3eB09Qb9bbfdNuWCS374ViKtKtZwYjv5Y/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-E5ZD1lj9hcUYZbUAdB9DY_kvQBh80t-LO9Q0ZSy4pfO5DXRG3rx8PXnvLqGe7IedemOlGbjix-XkcQ8xAhgO0pH6JGByOF0oVhTUwyVAXh3eB09Qb9bbfdNuWCS374ViKtKtZwYjv5Y/s320/2.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The proud father holds aloft the mighty Offenham 2</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghdVSXlCHmZAU8Rnlda1xc5xtZpjZ6nBnaMQDMRn2TOWWc7ljuVrevO61f6LxJ9_0LZFkzQZ2Zj0wvRnxj2PIxtfdj1ffEdJ6bFzhiGLfS-RbsgBsw5vnKqRnegWkoe2J6B6zyr2_hh4w/s1600/7645363176_a757a5db40_b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghdVSXlCHmZAU8Rnlda1xc5xtZpjZ6nBnaMQDMRn2TOWWc7ljuVrevO61f6LxJ9_0LZFkzQZ2Zj0wvRnxj2PIxtfdj1ffEdJ6bFzhiGLfS-RbsgBsw5vnKqRnegWkoe2J6B6zyr2_hh4w/s320/7645363176_a757a5db40_b.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One man, one vest, one cabbage.</td></tr>
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Luckily it's nearly the time of year to get sowing your spring cabbages. I reckon we will be. Maybe we can grow an 18lbs cabbage next year!<br /><br />
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</div>5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6777895290155004480.post-86149732907999861142012-07-27T12:05:00.000+01:002013-03-24T18:10:32.629+00:00"Courgette Lawyers 4 U" - A guest post by Dotmund<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><b>Let me present to you the erstwhile and esteemed duck worrier, Dotmund. Being a rather more successful blogger than gardener, I'm sure you'll make him welcome. Feel free to throw rubber snakes and manure at him. He likes that kind of thing.</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; text-align: -webkit-auto; white-space: pre-wrap;">Last summer, when I was a wide-eyed and cheery 31-year old dreamer, I said to myself, "I should grow some vegetables. In the ground". Unfortunately I said it loud enough that The Weather must have heard me. And so the callow, shapeless optimism of 2011 gives way to an embittered man of 32, prematurely aged by wind and flood. I've got an eel in my ear.</span></div>
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Life was simpler in the old days. If something went wrong, it was your fault or it was someone else's fault, and that's about it. But in the modern day world of litigators and personal injury claim companies, even a man who broke his collarbone because he was trying to paint a ceiling stood on the back of a goat can get £12,000 workman's comp. It's not just enough to be a blithering dingweed any more, basically. Someone or something has to be BLAMED and then preferably chased out of town by a mob bearing flaming torches. Accountability is very in.
And so we come back to my vegetables. As well as the weather overhearing me, esteemed blogger on vegetable issues 5olly did, too. And lo it came to pass that he did much to help out. It's safe to say that he gave me about 95% of all the organic material currently in my beds (half of which he helped dig, mind you) and about 98% of the organic material that is still alive. For my birthday this year he gave me a bumper bag of vegetable goodness including big onions, beetroot and radish seeds and some squash plants. All of which I predictably managed to not transfer to the garden for about 2 weeks.
This was the move of an idiot, not least because my birthday is in the middle of April and so by the time I had put the plants in the garden it was May and it started to rain. When the rain stopped, last week, we were able to take stock of what remained. There were some success stories: I did OK with my garlic. While everyone else's crop seems to have floundered at the garlic-flavoured spring onion phase, mine developed heads and cloved up and everything. Very satisfying. My beetroot is coming on nicely. And the onions, too, are doing OK, although the wind likes to blow the biggest one over from time to time, thus giving every onion the chance to be the biggest onion for a week or so. Democratic.</span></pre>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ironically, the opposite is true of their willies.</td></tr>
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But the courgette plants were pretty much the same as when I put them in. They may even have been smaller. I should have drawn a chalk outline around them to check. It would have been fairly appropriate, as I'm pretty sure that between the weather and me, someone had murdered them. But last week, a revelation! Something came floating past the upstairs window - it was the petal from a courgette flower! Sure enough, when I sent the divers in it turned out that the plant had sprouted.
Much rejoicing ensued. In the end, it turned out, all courgette plants need is for two years' worth of rain to fall in three months. I was sure to note all this down in my little gardening book (5olly gave me this, too, of course) so I can make sure I can replicate conditions exactly next spring. This may require a Russian military cloud seeding flight and a wind machine but what can I say? I like courgettes.
Like the diligent person pretending to look like a gardener in case any neighbours are watching that I am, I set to work. Regular watering. Careful weeding and tidying around the plants. It's been a long and slow learning process, my vegetable gardening adventure, but a rewarding one. And I was rewarded, too. A slug ate it.
So it was the slug's fault all along. Bastard.
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bastard</td></tr>
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<i>Dotmund's very own blog can be found <a href="http://dotmund.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank">here</a>. You can also follow him on <a href="https://twitter.com/dotmund" target="_blank">Twitter</a>. </i><br />
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</div>5ollyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15652315302254101791noreply@blogger.com1